So i’ve been dating an older man for a while now. Our long term goals (family and kids) and values align and we really like each other. But being the younger and less experienced person in a relationship makes me worried. My father had multiple affairs and it horribly affected my family in more ways. Not only does my extremely low self esteem is telling me “how can any man truly find me loveable and attractive”, watching the trainwreck of my parents’ relationship, my fears tell me “nah he’s going to drop you the moment someone else better comes along”. I am aware of all these. I try to take a step back and know these thoughts aren’t always true and that i can work on myself. He is aware i feel this way. And though he’s told me he’s dated people with way more baggage than i have, and that i’m relatively “mild”, i’m still afraid. I get overreactive, i get emotional, i get fearful. A lot of me thinks i’m not good enough for this man. I feel so afraid that one day he wouldn’t be able to tolerate me. And then he’ll just up and leave. He has a way of speaking (which i’ve told him before) that can be harsh and triggers my fears.

I don’t know where i’m going with this. We just had a bit of a mini argument and i just needed to vent.