My partner and I recently started couples therapy and it’s… going. We both talked about how we felt about how my relationship with her mother looks from both sides and her mothers. It’s basically a Cold War of silence between us.

Her mom thinks I ignore her and her husband and they’re not wrong but I just don’t initiate conversation. I think they ignore me and they do in that they don’t say hi to me when I greet them (they say hi to my partner and my son specifically though) and they don’t initiate conversation.

When I was growing up I was taught that if you invite people over it’s your job as the host to engage with everyone. You greet everyone who comes in, offer them something, talk to them and ask them how they’re doing, basically keep them entertained. My MIL and partner believes that if someone invites people over the onus is on you to talk to the people who invited you over.

I get everyone has different opinions and customs, I’m not trying to get people on my side and be like “see I’m right”. I’m just wondering if I’m wrong and overreacting or thinking this? My head is all fucked up and I need some help grounding.