My husband 32( only child) And I have 2 girls 3 &5 so far and another Otw. My fil did step up and babysat them since my first born was 1. My husband was in school and I worked. But throughout the years my fil Has made comments about my house being messy and upkept. Also wrote me a long message on fb that my mil is upset we/I dont invite her on our weekend outings, zoo, beach, etc. My fil hasnt had a job he sstayed home w my husband and raised him. So i know my mil missed out on raising my hubby. I just feel thats our time and we dont make plans that far in advance anyway. My in laws had a misscarriage just before i got pregnant with my oldest. So i told them dont worry i will have the kids for them... So now years have gone by. We recently needed repairs on our home and for 3 months in laws told My hubby to sell the house and stay w them. So after 3 mo we did. Got rid of all our stuff. I am about 8 wks pregnant at the time. I told my boss Im giving 9 months notice bc i want to raise my last kid. They replace me right away. So my hubby has his own business that we bought together. He didnt pursue his field of education btw. So we have been taking the kids with us to the business and homeschooling. In laws are upset im taking my kids back. In the 4 weeks we stayed with them my fil gave me a hard time. 1. So while i was at work (in the medical field) he found a cotton tip applicator in my younger daughters bed. Mustve fallen outta my pocket but was clean of course. So my fil yelled about it since it all happened in a moment and was his first reaction. My older daughter witnessed the whole thing. When i got home from work she yelled at me about just like he reacted in front of her. When i asked my in laws what happened today about a q tip being found in the bed there was nothing said. If its a big deal why not tell me about it? Just complain and put stuff in my kids head and bad mouth me to her? 2. My 3 yr old tossed rocks in the Pool while fil and i were talking. My fil through a big fit yelling at her. He said how could she do that to him after he put a roof over our head, fed Us and let us borrow his truck. We paid 700 a month( we were there 2 months before leaving) for a bedroom and to store 4 totes in the garage. 30 a month for the truck. We had 8k to buy another car anyway but fil said it was dumb since 30 bucks a month is nothing. And i paid for all our groceries, buying water softner salt for the home, water jugs for the waterboy machine, milk eggs, seasonings butter meat veg and cooked every other day. And left all of it when we moved out. Third fight was me having morning sickness for weeks and making tea every night. Of course im having tea the kids want tea too. And want to squeeze the honey. So i put the honey back into the pantry. Fil woke up and looked in there and saw tiny ants. Hubby and i are in bed its early am. And fil is complaining. When we get up nothing is said. We go to work. Fil put honey in a big zip loc. And organized the pantry. I never wouldve put the jar away sticky if i felt it sticky. So i get home and look for the new pack of paper plates i just bought. No reply. I know he just moved them and is ignoring me. My my hormonal smartass mouth says well i guess the ghost ants carried them away. Fil asked are you poking at me?? I cave. Im sorry im not trying to poke at you. He says that i an messy and have bugs at my house. So i just feel he planned and skeemed this on purpose. The fit he through about my younger daughter tossing rocks in the pool is how he reacted when he found a cotton tip applicator in a bed. So thats proof to me that he Will say innappropraite things when provoked. Why said those type things to a 3 yr old. I feel they dont treat my 2 girls the same. Last fight that made us leave Was when my younger daughter was on her bed with my in laws dog laying on her feet. She was lifting her feet to nudge the dog off. Dog has always slept with my older daughter in that room. But my younger daughter doesnt want a dog in her bed and licking her pillow. The dog disnt listen or move. My older daughter called for my fil saying she was kicking the dog. He stormed in and said he woukd beat her azz if he heared it happen again. 2 days later it getting late and i tell my kids to play in their room while hubby and i take a shower. We get out and its time to clran up toys and do a story. It takes over an hr to get kids asleep. Mil is in there playing (rare) and i tell them we gotta clean up and i ask mil to get the dog out. She was in there again licking my kids pillow leaving a wets spot. She laughs and i said i dont think its funny. Fil come in again and is heated in his voice. He said we rent the other room and dont need to be in the room with my kids. This was the only time my hubby was there and he actually said we are leaving righ now. I was happy. The whole time i was there i had to hear and witness all the bs and i felt trapped. They had those glade plug in airfreshners that made me sick. I told them they are toxic and cause cancer but they did nothing. Why woukd they tell us to move in and torment me the whole time. I am grateful and showed it that he watched the kids. He woukdve done it for his own if they didnt misscarry. So i thought it worked for us all. Fil sold antiques on e bay as a job and stopped bc people woukd say item was damage but wasnt. Now in laws are upset that im not working and home w the kids. They want to take the kids and have sleep overs. Im not comfortable after not respecting my kid and her bed. And spanking, yelling , threatening her for typical 3 yr old stuff. And how can i trust fil wont verbally disrespect me to my older daughter behind my back. I dont want my mil to miss out on the kids bc fil isnt respecting me. He prob feels upset at me for not taking care of my own kids but i asked him first before we had them. My hubby did call my mil bc she is easier to talk to and gave her a list of my boundries. I just told.my hubby about those fights and let him take care of it. But my fil doesnt know still and i feel its harder and not easier moving foward. But dealing with his personality if isnt gonna make a diff to give him a list of things he did wrong. Itll end in disaster. Im hurt and hes hurt, what should we do? Mil called and asked for a sleep over fri -sat. Sun is younger daughters bday party so i said no. Big fight.she saif Fil stepped up and took care of girls when noone else would and put his life on hold. It killed me the whole time i couldnt raise me own kids. My hubby and i met he had no ged and not yet divorced. I was a dental assistant. He worked at walmart and i told him to quit bc he hated it. He then worked moving furniture and we got pregnant. I told him to stay home w the baby since i made more money. He did for a yr. He worked part time at vape store. The vape store boss told him to go to college. So he did. Thats when fil started watching our oldest. When the vape store boss passed away and we bought the business. Now we make more money so i dont have to work. I wouldnt be so stingy w the kids if i felt respected as their mother. He did watch them for 5 yrs So he is entitled to them right What to do