How do you navigate this?

Ive been through a lot in the past few years. I keep finding that everyone lies and a LOT of people are really manipulative. Especially in the service industry. It's really distressing. If I try to stay quiet and observe to find out who is trustworthy or not, people tend to think Im suspicious. So if I open up a little bit about what Ive been through, people assume the worst. If I try to remove myself from untrustworthy peoples' orbits with boundaries, I get scapegoated. It's so damn frustrating.

God forbid I dont engage with someone flirting with me at the workplace. Even worse if I trust that their intentions are probably good, and bring up their behavior.

It's already hard enough finding love as a gay man. Especially when your personality type is to constantly forgive people and give them empathy. People always take advantage, and Im too slow to catch on before they start maneuvering people and opinions

It just feels like people are constantly trying to fish information from me. They'll do something and watch my reaction. If I get insecure or upset, they'll keep doing it. If I move to a different circle or a different job or a different town, the last manipulative person's shit ends up following me.

I feel so bitter and angry. I know what to do to have a peaceful life- keep my head down, be honest, be discerning, be kind, trust that most people have good intentions, rely on the relationships you have, focus on building up yourself and on your interests. But it just doesnt seem to be enough. What can you do when keeping your head down means not being kind? What can you do when focusing on yourself means letting your relationships suffer? How can you be honest to people while being discerning?

Im doing my best to not let myself be scapegoated. But honestly it seems like that and running are the only way to be safe in a world of people who have no qualms about hurting you. Fighting back just ends with me barely scraping by