We are still in on-and-off contact, and we occasionally talk about our sexual experiences. These conversations seem to trigger something in both of us, but maybe that’s exactly what we want, which is why we keep sharing these intimate details with each other. It feels like there's an unspoken understanding between us — we both know that this exchange of sexual stories stirs up a lot of emotions and physical reactions, yet we continue to indulge in it. The level of detail she goes into when describing her experiences is mind-blowing. It’s like she wants to paint a vivid picture for me, and each time, it takes me by surprise just how far she goes in her descriptions.

If anyone out there, whether a girl or a guy, has been through something similar with their current or ex-partner, I would honestly love to talk about it. There’s something about hearing these kinds of stories that feels both uncomfortable and undeniably hot at the same time. It’s a weird mix of emotions — I get ridiculously turned on by her stories, especially when she shares in explicit detail how she's getting railed by other guys. Just the way she describes it, how she’s being taken, how these random guys are having their way with her, it’s insane. I find myself getting insanely hard listening to those details. Recently, she went on a trip to Vietnam, and even though she hasn’t shared much about it yet, my mind keeps wandering. I can’t help but imagine how she might have been with strangers, getting railed by men she’s just met. The thought drives me crazy.

We met once after all these conversations, but for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to fuck her. It was like my body froze up, even though she was right there in front of me, lying wide apart and ready for anything. She was willing to do whatever I wanted, yet something held me back. But even now, I think about it constantly — how badly I want to rail her all night, to have her in that way. It's a craving that never seems to go away.