I don't know what happened to my motivation. I constantly feel depressed and ashamed and anxious. The thought of working on project/studying fills me with so much dread that I want to just run away and keep running. I used to be so motivated, I was so so determined to do well in my first year and second year and I did. But ever since the pandemic struck since third year it has been slowly going downhill. This year it's especially worse. And I know I shouldn't compare and this is a terrible sentiment but, my classmates who fooled around in 1st and 2nd year have buckled up now and seeing them work so hard makes me feel even worse. I used to be ahead of them but now they have rapidly caught up and I feel I am wasting the most important years. I just feel so terrible because this is the second time in my life this is happening. I had failed to get into an IIT/NIT after a similar streak of demotivation. But I had determined to do well in college and work my ass off and make up for it. And here I am again. I just don't know what to do about this. I want to feel excited about studying/ projects again. I want to feel ambitious and passionate and have my shit together basically. But I don't see a way out of this rut.