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I can't stop thinking that the best part of my life is behind me.
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I had a lot of fun in my childhood. I was raised in a colony and I have plenty of friends. We made a tent one summer. Me and my friends used to attend karate classes together. We used to watch dragon ballz and stuff together. And spend all of the time discussing those episodes. I had so much fun between 5th to 9th class.

Then I went through this stupid rat race for engineering college seats in India. I lost a lot of friends. Ended up in a shitty tier 3 engineering college. I was very depressed. Did not enjoy college at all.

Then I came to America for my masters. It was another rat race to get that best paying job. I did not have a lot of friends then. Everyone was always stressed and constantly fighting.

The first few years of my job, it took me sometime to settle down. I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do in my career and all. Almost all of my friends got married during this time.

I did travel extensively to Europe and all. I had some fun. I brought a car. I took up cooking as a hobby. I built an expensive PC and played a lot of video games. I watched a lot of movies. I did hung out with a few friends during this time.

But now I am 31. Every one is telling me to get married before it is too late. But no girl is jumping up and down to get married to me. On top of that both of my parents have been divorced once. And they are constantly fighting. My dad hit my mom infront of me once. Having witnessed all of this I don't want to get married. It scares me.

I did make a lot of money. My networth is around 650K USD. So again if I get married and divorced I will lose half of it in alimony which is again scary.

If I don't get married I don't know what I should do for the rest of my life.

The loneliness is killing me.

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1 year ago