When I was younger I had a short lived but very loving consensual relationship with my cousin. She is a few years older than me and wasn’t what you’d call conventionally attractive but I was enamored with her. She was also sleeping with my older brother though I didn’t know it at the time. It ended when she became pregnant and didn’t know who the father was. The baby was born and to my sadness it obviously wasn’t mine. Sadly my brother denied it was his even though the baby was the spitting image of his other kids when they were born. This caused a major rift in the family and that cousin and her family cut off contact with mine. Years later I tried to reach out on social media but was immediately blocked. Her sister contacted me and said that even though she still loved me as family, she would support her sister and asked I never try to contact them again. I will honor that but I think I will always hold a small flame for the woman who was my first.