I recently realized what I am, and I have been suppressing these feelings. Considered myself asexual and never had any relationships for this reason. I just sort of blamed, shamed myself and never pursued any realtionship. I am able to function normally but at times I am deep. I tried to keep myself busy - got myself a motorcycle (the speed doesn't help), worked out like crazy (regardless of being tired I am still crazy ready lol), spent time in a small library (the clerk started to look hot). When I try to stop watching things damn the level increases exponentially but I am working on that.

Masturbating relaxes everything temporarily but sometimes give me few mins and I am game.

Therapist told me it relates to my past, which I kinda already knew. I am from Chicago (if someone knows better therapist lmk) and this therapist told me to just go out, get laid or she can prescribe some meds that can suppress these feelings. I am against meds and idk if I will ever find someone that can deal with me.

I wanted to ask y'all if being with a person helps? if so how do I find someone who will understand me without grossing out (I got to find me a goth gf).

And if someone is taking meds - does it help, any side effects?

Lastly if anyone has their own techniques that help them share.

Thanks for reading.