As a young boy I had a babysitter who was 10 years older than me. As I grew up he and I began to “play” very sexually and I was taught a lot of things that other kids did not know. This all started when I was 4 and he was 14. Despite all of this, I was always a very willing participant and often sought out these escapades with him. We continued on our hookups for a long time even into adulthood and have transitioned to occasional fuck buddies

Is this something normal that anyone else has experienced? Is the fact that I liked a lot of it and didn’t consider is abuse a factor in my hs? I feel like I have nobody in real life to talk to about this who would even begin to understand where I am coming from