I (25F) hate myself for how obsessed I am with sex because it caused me to annihilate my fucking marriage. A marriage that was so good, so healthy, and so meaningful to me. When I started feeling hypersexual for the first time 6 months ago, I asked my wife (23F) to have threesomes, more kinky sex, way more frequent sex, etc. I didn’t even realize but I changed the way I dress to be revealing so I felt desirable all the time. I masturbated constantly. Eventually I even asked for an open marriage. I didn’t listen to any of her boundaries and I went and sought out services to become a sex worker against her permission and boom. She found out I had intent to sleep with someone else, so full on cheating. I completely broke her trust and the thing that’s so gross is I feel so guilty, yet I am still constantly thinking about sex, like the sex I would’ve had if I didn’t get caught, and all that. She actually wants to salvage our marriage, can you believe that? We are getting couples counseling and talking a lot, and while we are talking to address the betrayal and her grief, I am in my own head, thinking sex thoughts, and wondering when I can go masturbate so I can focus. I want to stop thinking this way because it’s ruining my life. What am I supposed to do??