I (21) told them that I’ve been sexually curious and masturbating since I was 6 years old. I was a late bloomer so sex drive probably doesn’t have anything to do with it (although I do have a high libido now), but I remember interpreting multiple things as explicitly “sexual” (even if I didn’t know that’s what that was) and feeling the need to masturbate thinking about them. Victoria Secret models in magazines, watching painful stunts on Jackass and realizing I was a sadomasochist (again, without knowing that’s what it was), etc. Nobody taught me these things, it was just my first reaction.

When I told my therapist, they looked at me stunned and tried to compose themself with an offhanded comment to move on, but I don’t think they realized how much it affected me: “Maybe we can see if there are some repressed memories there, but [next topic].”

Now the problem here is that I did in fact have repressed memories, but I did the work for that years prior to this therapist. I’ve since then had a reputable memory dating back all the way to 3 years old, and my traumatic experiences happened after I was 6 when my hypersexuality began. I even distinctly remember how I found out about self-pleasure, and nobody else was involved in that discovery.

Maybe someone with an outside perspective can tell me if I’m in denial, or maybe you can see where my doubts are coming from. I’ll admit it really doesn’t feel good to be suggested by a professional that something else could have happened to me when I thought I’d done the work to process it all already. I know they didn’t mean it, but the knee-jerk reaction made me feel like my HS meant that there was something wrong with me. The way I view it, my HS was a natural part of me that put me in danger because nobody properly explained it to me. Hopefully, you can see why it stings to hear it might have been the other way around.

I’ve also had a previous therapist tell me it’s not unusual for kids to be curious about their bodies at a young age, so that’s why this therapist’s reaction surprised me so much. I guess I’m not sure what the professional consensus is anymore. I’m not sure I can really call what I did “natural curiosity” for a kid.

Does hypersexuality always have to be a trauma response? Am I some outlier, or do I have more memories I need to resurface?

Edit: I originally asked mostly to see if anyone could relate, and I’m surprised by the overall response! I didn’t really think of myself as uncommon OR normal, but there’s something nice about potentially being both. I won’t jump to conclusions though; as some people pointed out, my therapist was unprepared to handle my HS regardless of trauma and that I should see someone in that field specifically. I’ve been so focused on my trauma and associating HS with it that I hadn’t actually considered getting therapy for HS as the main priority. Thank you for all the various feedback, this has been helping my overthinking and making goals for myself :)