The question of romance, sex and commitment has been on my mind for... who knows how long? I've always had this persistent notion that a committed relationship is always a romantic or a familial one. There was also the question of what is the core 'commitment' inside a relationship. Is it the exclusivity from other people? Polyamorous relationships wouldn't be a commitment if that were the case. Is it the public statement of your relationship? No, that didn't felt like an answer either. It was apparent that what was the most common sort of commitment in relationships is a commitment of one's mental, emotional, physical or other resources. In other words, making space for another person in your life that remains available as long as the relationship exists. I felt adverse to that a few reasons. A. I felt a fear of being hurt. But most importantly B. I do not have romantic needs.

Instead, I have sexual needs. Many find stability in addressing their romantic needs through another committed person. I realized that I want that same sort of stability in having a committed relationship to address shared sexual needs with another person. By realizing this, I now understood that I am not scared of commitment or feel that it doesn't add anything in my life. I know realize that I do in fact want it. Instead of romantic, I want commitment with sexual attraction and connection as a foundation for said commitment. The issue is the misconception that there is no place for commitment in a purely sexual long term relationship and that only when there's romance is there a possibility. This misconception completely disregards the emotional, mental, and spiritual requirements that many have towards sex even if casual; I do not see how it could be invalid to find comfort and stability in a long term sexual relationship where dedicated effort is reciprocated from all parties. I do not want a sexual partnership with someone who is emotionally unavailable; not because of some desire of romantic connection but because emotionally availability is important for any commitment including sexual. How am I supposed to feel that a sexual partnership is stable and continuous if the other person feels distant or if it feels like they aren't trying anymore? Overall, I feel what I want is an actual partnership where both parties are committed to make the most out of each other's company and have it last as long as possible. I feel that given how our sexual needs manifest as people with hypersexuality, this sort of dynamic may be what some, if not a lot of us, are looking for. How society addresses sexuality and what is considered valid or invalid sexual partnerships will inherently affect us. Rather than feel trapped regarding the options we are presented with by our monogamist society, I am hoping this may open some of our minds to something that may give a lot of us hope.