Dear Degraders and Degradees and people who want to become one of that terms.

I am quite new to Reddit (not even a year) and i have often read questions like "how to degrade my sub" "how to start degrading?" "phrases to degrade my sub" "where to start degrading". I feel like there is no good way to answer those questions, that's why I want to tell you how I feel about it:

Why degradation is not to be answered in shemes

In some kinks you are very limited to special toys, materials or whatever. Be that a rope and a variety of knots or handcuffs or latex or whatever you may enjoy. The thing is: in degradation you are the weapon. Your words are the impact play.

You can call 10 people a "idiot" and you will receive various different reactions. One of them could be a punch in the face, another one could be a reflected "you are right and I will do better in the future". The key is, it's individual and all individuals react different to it. You need to adapt to another person.

Why the art of degradation is individual

Every single person on this planet has made different experiences, another cultural background, or just had a bad day. Not every situation or every person fits with anything. You need to slowly crawl towards the liking of your consenting partner to reach the area where the fun begins.

Some of those partners may enjoy bodyshaming (SPH, Fatshaming, any other "issues" with their body), some may enjoy their mind/intellect being degraded (lowering the intellect of a person / making fun of how they act crazy in various situations), some others like to be name called (oink oink piggy etc.) - not every sub will react the same way to the same play. Not even the same sub will always react the same as the day before. Get a feeling for it.

Degradation needs to matter (if it's irrelevant, it's not degradation) but not too much (you can potentially retraumatize / traumatize or really hurt a person or cause other issues). But everyone of us - even dependiung upon mood or if they ate something it could be varying.

Degradation beginner tipps:

- Make sure you have the consent of your partner

- Discuss any trauma related fields or strong insecurities before or any other boundaries of course

- Adapt your style and intensity to the days energy

- Have empathy as a Dom and try to understand what happens in your sub - it's your responsibility to keep the sub safe and it will make it easier for you to find the weak spots

- move slowly and if both enjoy, go deeper

- be communicative to each other, it's a fun thing to experience

- Use a safeword also for degrading - as a sub, make use of it, if you need it - that doesn't lower your value and if so, get rid of a dom who says so

- As a Dom, provide proper aftercare, as discussed before

The true key to degrading from my personal perspective

When degrading as a dom, the key is to make a surrounding, where your sub knows they are loved and they go with you, trusting you deeply. Be empathetic, be smart with words and be empathetic enough to sense what they need.