So, I definitely notice something odd about me in large-group social environments.

I have an amazing time in small group environments, ideally 1-on-1, but 3 or 4 people groups also do. I think the part I find "satisfying" and where my enjoyment comes from is from everyone having a good time and listening to one another.

However, I find that in large group settings, people often break into smaller groups. If I introspect, I find it annoying that each group forgets other groups even exist! As if that were not enough, people often speak meekly (or it's the surrounding noise), the only ones who can hear them are the ones immediately next to them. Even in a circle of 6-7 people, it feels as if the diametrically opposite person has no concern for anyone beyond their neighbour. Now, this does not happen always. I'm extremely pleased when someone keeps track of the group size and modulates their voice accordingly, but this is rare!

Now, because there are multiple groups, I also find myself overwhelmed in deciding which group to go to and how much time to spend with each of them. If I go to a group of people I'm already familiar with, I feel I'm wasting time because if hanging out with them was the main point, I'd already be hanging out with them in a better environment. If I go to a group with new people, I find myself being clueless. And even if I can ask for context, I end up avoiding because I require a bit too much context, which I fear would overwhelm the other person.

Structured large group environments, where there is a coordinator or turn-taking feel so much better. Everyone gets a chance to interact with everyone else!

I'm lost to why am I even thinking about all these things, when people seem to do it seamlessly! (Okay, I do take an interest in psychology, understanding people, and also understanding how people interact with each other. But please, can I turn this analysis off 😭?) I don't know what the correct subreddit to post this is. This doesn't seem r/socialskills - I don't find myself worrying over what others might think about me. Not r/aspergers or related because I think I'm also good at reading signals. I suspect this is HSP, because my mind is going into hyperdrive trying to make sure everyone feels okay. There's also a utilitarian (vague) part of me, that wants to make reasonably-optimal use of everyone's time. I'm lost.