A little short back story.

My mom, brother, and grandma all have myotonic dystrophy, and I take care of them. I'm a junior in high school. All four of us live in a two bedroom house. I sleep on a couch. My father was never a part of my life.

I used to give so many fucks. I was cutting, I was in therapy, I was pissed off and in a relationshit. He gave as many fucks as I did, and I dragged it on for too long. A year and a week, to be exact. I didn't have any friends because I was always scared to talk to people. I couldn't even fucking call and order pizza because I was so self conscious.

But then I heard this song. It's country, but I don't give a fuck. Here's the chorus in case you're also lazy as fuck:

Life's not the breath you take

The breathing in and out

That gets you through the day

Ain't what it's all about

You just might miss the point

Trying to win the race

Life's not the breaths you take

But the moments that take your breath away

Basically, it means to fucking live. So I do. I joined drama club, and i've done 8 full length productions. I chill with friends. I smoke pot occasionally and I smoke cigarettes, because fuck it, they make me feel nice.

I have a kickass boyfriend now who is my world. Our 2 year anniversary was a week ago. Not like you give a fuck, but he's helped me a lot in learning how not to give a fuck.

I don't cut anymore. I stopped caring about what people thought about me. I wear whatever the fuck I want to wear.

I love my life. I love being able to wake up in the morning and do whatever the fuck I want.

If you still give fucks, don't. Don't worry about being the best. Don't worry about doing what makes your parents or peers proud. Don't worry about what others think of yourself.

This is your life. Whatever shit you have going on, suck it up. Make yourself happy. Whatever the fuck makes you happy, whether it's sitting on the couch eating doughnuts or going for a run, fucking do it. Don't focus on finding someone else to complete you.

You can't love someone else if you can't even love yourself.

Just fucking live.

TL;DR: Life isn't about how many breaths you take, but rather the moments that take your breath away.