Middle-aged but hilarious dork who looks ok enough, 5'11," (NOT 6'), 200 lbs, looking for woman between 21 and 35 who's way hotter than me (not that hard to accomplish) who also can carry a conversation (much harder to accomplish). On the first date, we'll go to a cool cocktail bar that doesn't serve food because no way am I watching you eat for the first 2 hours we're together. I will attempt to stay focused on the conversation while I imagine you sucking my dick the whole time.
After I charm your pants off (figuratively and literally) we'll date for a while until I accidentally knock you up and we decide to get married, which we'd both been kind of wanting to do but didn't want to admit it.
After I die at 90 you get 15-20 years of freedom to enjoy your life and my money while you fuck the pool boy.
Start by telling me a bit about yourself. (Nobody seems to be able to follow this instruction. Prove you're better.)
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