Listening to Kowloon Walled City; some doomy sludge shit

Sometimes the biggest choice I face in life is whether to have a second cup of coffee or fix breakfast; other days it is whether to keep living or not, lol

Today, I prayed more specifically (which I never do) & placed at God’s (or whatevers) feet the exact source of my current pain & said aloud—w a confident lack of confidence—take this from me

(What’s the difference between giving-up & giving-in?)

Hmu, chat, & then come over & cuddle; maybe you tell me (as I hold you & you absentmindedly trace a finger across my body) all that weighs you down (do you know how to disclose to another human being; be, like, vulnerable & honest?); I’ll just listen; I’m so over me anyway

We must learn a fondness for ourselves or perish it seems

Light is not so much what you directly see as that by which you see everything else

What if your life isn’t a pretty accident; idk, it’s a lot to take in for sure

Micro-play

Title: YESTERDAY, IN BED

Me: are you okay…

Her: yes, yes, you’re just in so deep

~fin~

Friend & I had lunch at Lankford’s today; it was chill; we both just got divorced (from two women who know each other well) so plenty to talk about; I told him I have clandestine meet-ups w women prowling reddit & he was baffled; he flies to Nicaragua once a month to see a woman he’s falling for & that baffles me; it was my turn to pick-up the check

At the Menil lawn two couples sat on blankets & one couple looked at each other w so much reverence as their partner talked, as if enraptured by every word they uttered; there was something ick about it all; performative, etc; if the other couple wasn’t present I’m pretty sure this bit of partner-worship would not be occurring

Self-pity is pride in reverse; I always remember that

Anyway, let’s chat & set-up a cuddle session; it’ll be fun