I like my steak medium. Can you grill it real good? Like for real. I can cook my own steak fine, but I want a steak better than I can make it myself. Bonus points if you actually have a grill & know how to use it— I don’t.

You: Are a nice, honest man. Like big, white, jiggly asses and medium sized, sensitive tits. Like your ladies just a little on the trashy side. Have a dick that works real good & and you know how to use it. Bonus points if it’s thick. Bonus points if you have a degree in something interesting and or can fix cars or pipes or houses or are a black cowboy. Bonus points if you can have college level conversations about binge style tv shows. You really like complimenting the women you’re fucking. Bonus points if you can pick me up, I’m tall and like I said : big, jiggly ass. Bonus points if you are a curious person, ask good questions and would love to answer all of mine. Bonus points if you genuinely love to dote on a girl that is being real good to you. Bonus points if this isn’t your first rodeo, you can appreciate a lady with a full bush and some stretch marks who knows how to enjoy herself — and your dick.

Bonus points: Not gonna lie, I am equally turned on by prison tattoos, English degrees and Hermes— if you’ve got more than one of these, I’ve already had my first orgasm— I’m not sure which one is my guiltiest pleasure. We are both probably better off you if don’t have any of them.

Please send dick pics & tell me how you like to fuck.

I’m most likely too shy to actually meet any of you in real life, although— I could totally be convinced with the right messages, skill list & dick pics. I keep thinking I should message the guy that wants used panties, I just haven’t yet. I guess I’m looking for some extra inspiration.

P.s. I’m from Houston, born & raised— Mattress Mac, prom pics at the water wall, I hate the Galleria, the Viper at Astroworld wasn’t that great of a ride, why is Goode Company so bad now, Trill Burger is delicious, I’m a real, quirky, dick loving woman.