20 years is just an awful long time to try and mold and change yourself to be the Person Your "partner" wants to be with. Lesson learned the incredibly hard way.

But lesson learned and moving on...

She just didn't realize how ready I was.

I've got about 2 years left Of not really being offer the level of energies I deemed fit in a full-fledged relationship. I have experienced that "oh my God Is this what love is actually supposed to feel like" total and complete obsession with each other... But in a healthy way lol. And it's amazing. It was also with a woman who likewise spend over a decade in a relationship with a man who refused to speak her love language. I really very much would like to experience that again. I love hard 🤷‍♂️.....

..... Because I just found out yesterday, as a person with ASD, I have what is called emotional hyposensitivity. I've managed to get the pesky bad emotions under check. But in order to really experience the good emotions; I mean it's like I have a tolerance. It goes from like hi you cute to hey let's get married in like 2 seconds. For me it's all about the connection. I am so high energy that as long as the connection is there I will continue to give it my all in perpetuity 🤷‍♂️. I am working more on self-improvement and have been for the past 7 years and now apparently emotional regulation needs to climb to the top of my list of things to do...

... In the meantime, If anyone else that is doing things they shouldn't be doing wants to experience some intense words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time,.... Or obviously physical touch (Google "ASD and hypersexuality 😜). Then I'm half my own place. Live right in Midwest, right off Westheimer. love cooking, music, dancing .. I can literally have a good time doing just about anything so... 🤷‍♂️