I (29M) have been in a relationship with a 28F, a very beautiful, intelligent, and caring girl. We have been together now for 3 years. The hotwife lifestyle intrigued me very early on, around the age of 20, and it has always been something I fantasized about when I watched porn. After about a year into our relationship, I started having fantasies about my girlfriend with another man.

Fast forward a bit, I shared my feelings with her about it, and surprisingly, she didn't say "no." She needed some time to think it over, and after a few months, she installed Bumble. There were some guys, but none were a perfect match. In the meantime, the hotwife lifestyle became a part of our sex life, where she would tease me and ask what I would like to see her doing.

Almost 2 years passed, and she finally matched with a 34M, who was good-looking and caring. As things progressed, I started feeling insecure but allowed her to go on dates since we had been discussing this topic for 2 years. The first date was just drinks, but the second date turned into "everything." They had sex for about 2 hours, which she enjoyed immensely. I'm not that great in bed and can't go hard for very long, which sometimes bothers her. This was clearly not a problem for that guy.

I'm not insecure about my size, but I have a penis size of 16 cm (around 6 inches). When she came back, she was like a little schoolgirl who got her first lolly. She said he was gigantic and had fucked her brains out, and he was a lot thicker than I am. She always said size didn't matter, but after that date, she clearly made me feel that size does matter.

Despite everything, I found the situation very hot and had no problem with what she did. Even now, I don't feel bad about it (since I introduced it to her, even if I did feel bad, it would be my own fault). However, days passed, and I saw that she was getting attached to him. I sometimes looked at her phone to see what they were texting about (I know I didn't respect her privacy). I feel like he wants friendship and just good sex, but she wants the same plus cuddles, good talks, etc.

I told her I didn't feel comfortable with it anymore and that I would like to stop. We had a little fight, and at first, she didn't agree. She said I would regret my decision because I wanted this all along and it takes a lot of time to find the right guy, which she is 100% right about. But after some words, she listened and stopped contacting him.

Two months passed, and one day when she was on the toilet, I saw a message light up on her screen. It was his picture on WhatsApp. I started reading, and they have been texting for about a week now and are making plans to see each other again next week.

When we had sex in the last few weeks, she sometimes mentioned that her fantasy was doing it behind my back, and I said that it would be very hot if she was a slut like that. Of course, that was in the heat of the moment, but again, I said it. However, making plans to see him and have sex again is different from teasing each other during sex, I think.

At this moment, I don't know what to do. Do I give her the freedom to have fun and not chicken out, even though I'm quite sure it's only for the good sex? I can't really confront her about it, or she would know that I looked at her phone. Any advice, fellow Redditors? I don't blame her for anything. She was a well-behaved, classy girl, but I let her taste this lifestyle, and it clearly fits her better than it does for me, I guess. Thank you for reading and for any advice you can offer, I appreciate it!