How the hell do I know if I’m doing the right thing?!

I just posted a few days ago; and my mom is still in the hospital on palliative care. The plan was to test oral meds for a few days, and then start her discharge back to adult family home on hospice. The home wanted her to do 7 days of antibiotics first though, so upon trying to add those to her regime she started having harder time swallowing. In the mornings she can get a couple “good swallows” in and then it takes a good 10-30 seconds and a lot of “mom swallow, you need to swallow, all the way mom!” And then she started coughing on one of the oral medicines she was taking and we’re no refusing any oral meds and want them all through her iv. The main decision I’m struggling with right now is food/water… my mom has been non verbal for two years now and between her stroke and dementia her communication was almost non existent besides eye contact and crying up until a couple months ago.. So right now when she’s awake we’ve been just putting spoonfuls in front of her mouth and seeing if she opens and she usually does but I’m not convinced it’s not just a reflex. She hasn’t had a BM in days and the last few times she has had a couple bites of pureed foods she has instantly gotten visibly uncomfortable and ends up suffering from a lot of gas.. Everything I’m reading says they will lose their appetite and to stop feeding them when they don’t want to eat, but it’s not possible for me to know whether my mom wants to eat still or not?! And I feel guilty making that decision for her like either way, because if she wants to eat then I’m just starving her and if she doesn’t want to eat and I feed her then I’m just prolonging this horrible suffering that she never wanted to experience.. I also don’t want to be the one that feeds her something that makes her aspirate either.. so like wtf dude god.

I don’t know what to do and it’s so fucked up and unfair that I’m the one having to make these decisions like wtf