To clarify mother and I have never quite saw eye to eye but we always have had an active relationship.

She has stage 4 NETS and type 2 diabetes and also lives far away and by herself. Before her last round of chemo I came to visit got her situated with things to make her life easier and setup cameras to keep an eye out.

One day I checked the camera and found her on the floor and unable to get up. I dropped everything and came back down. She hadn't eaten in days, was in severe pain, and was rotting in her own bodily functions. She can't walk and is bed ridden at this point. She has also refused let me take her to the hospital. This lasted for 1.5 days before I decided to force her to the hospital so she could at least die clean and cared for.

In the hospital we talked about her going to a SNF and she agreed. The social worker found a bed 1 day sooner than expected and when it came time to go she threw a giant fit about everyone around her tricking her and forcing her to go against her will and even saying she never agreed to go.

Now, after having been there for 1 day she is adamant about going home with or without care and is willing to discharge herself when she can't walk or move. She is slightly below the bar of mental capability for now but otherwise seems like she knows what she's doing. She refuses to let anyone change her or take care of her. She's easily the most stubborn human being I've met.

I gave her an ultimatum where if she wants to discharge herself with no care I will not stop her but I also will not speak to her ever again. I have done everything I possibly could have, spent all day everyday the past few weeks in the hospital with her and am driving an hour each way to the SNF to visit her. She says she will seek discharge and that the SNF is too dirty and wants to die in her own home. She also said that I should have not intervened and left her to die on her couch where I found her.

It is worth mentioning that before all this I offered several times to pay to move her to an assisted living facility or to help sell her house and move in with other family up by them where they could all help with EOL. She of course refused and said "God would solve it for me."

AITA here? I really don't know what I was supposed to do. I'd love to hear stories about if you've gone through similar and what you did.