I’m so tired, my mom has been in the hospital since 9/13, and in hospice care since 9/29 when we had the ventilator removed per her directive. Between trying to be there for my mom everyday, working 13 hour shifts, and dealing with family I’ve never met telling me how they feel my shoulder buried. Today is the first day that I have not visited my mom, as I am just so drained. I feel guilty, but last night her sister pulled me away from my mom’s bedside to tell me that if me and my sister go through with the cremation that my mom would go to hell. My aunt has been a warrior and has been at the hospital since this started and I don’t want to be too disrespectful, but my mom’s wishes were to be cremated, my father was cremated, when I die someday I will be cremated. My mom’s cousin and sister are Muslim, and they’re saying my mom will be the first one in their family to be cremated, and they’re worried for their own soul, if we go through with this cremation. I just honestly feel like I would be doing my mom a disservice if we didn’t follow her directive and what she told us. Sometimes family can suck, I would never tell someone’s child how they should bury their parent, and I told my aunt that my mom would be so angry with her if she knew what she was putting me and my sister through right now. I don’t want my mom to die, but I just want this to be over.

Sorry, there are a couple typos but this app won’t let me edit them out. I hope you can understand what I’m trying to say in this post.