My therapist gave me a platitude this weekend which absolutely fucking rocked my world for a sec: "When you aren't fed love off silver spoons, you learn to start licking it off knives" (I looked it up, the original quote is from Lauren Eden).

I think he gave it to me as a sort of test to see if I'd walk myself into a pointy object with it (and I did for the few minutes of silence that followed while I turned it over) but with time it's made me start to look for the silver spoons in my world. I'm so incredibly loved by my unconventional family - and sure it's not romantic love, or traditional love by any sense of the word, but I know love when I see it and I figure if I keep looking for full spoons I probably can't go too wrong.

It's kind of exciting, anticipating falling in romantic love someday? I've never even thought of looking before tbh (loooong story, thought I was ace, ruined a friendship realising I was demi - oops and ouch) and now it seems like a possibility for me the world somehow seems a bit more glowy, it makes me wanna slide into playfulness at a moment's notice.

I find myself grinning thinking about someday having someone who will want to learn how to make my tea just right, or come up behind me and cuddle me before dinner just because. I have to laugh at myself because so much of what I think about romantic love sits solidly in the PG realm. Building intimacy with someone seems like it could be some of the most rewarding hard work I'll ever do.

I've been wrecked, hopeless, for the concept of love these last few months. Fingers crossed it has something nice in store for me, and their heart is as open as mine.

It's totally wild screaming this all into the void on the internet, but for some reason all this bubbling, fizzing excitement needs somewhere to go today and I hope, if nothing else, it made someone grin and think about love the same way I do for a second. Spoon-full, and a little giddy, thinking there could be someone out there waiting to feel like that together 💕