Hey everyone,

I’m a male, 31 years old and I’ve been using Hinge for about a year or so now. There’s been stretches for months where I didn’t care to use it or anything but, lately I’ve been going pretty hard on it - sending likes and trying to spark conversation with women.

To tell you a little bit about myself, I’m a cinephile, music head, I love good food and world travel. Anyway, I matched with a really interesting girl recently. We had a great conversation about music and music videos and she seems to share the same interests as me and shares the same tastes. The conversation flowed really nicely and we talked for about 2 days. I decided to jump the gun and ask her out. She replied a few days later and said she’s busy that week but asked maybe we can go next week. Perfect. I sent her another message to set up a date/meeting place. She doesn’t respond for a week. The next week, I decided to send her another message asking her if she’s free Friday night to go for a coffee?

She responded later that evening and apologized for the late reply as she has been busy with work. She said she’s out of town the coming weekend but tells me she definitely wants to go for coffee at some point…

So then, I message her again and tell her that no worries and that I’ll message her next week to see what’s up (insert smiley face emoji here). Just giving her space obviously and don’t want to be pushy at all. A day later she hit the like/heart button on my message.

Another week goes by and I ask her how her weekend was and asked her if she’d like to go coffee on the upcoming Thursday night?. I thought maybe it’s never good to ask someone out on a first date on a Friday night or during a weekend - since I guess many people don’t want to go on first dates when they’re off from work. After this message, a week goes by again and she doesn’t respond.

A week ago from today, I felt anxious and sent her another message to see if she still wants to go for coffee and that I put it out there that I’m usually free after 6pm, so that I could be giving an open window of availability, rather than picking random days out of the week that may not match up with her availability. I sent this message because I talked to a friend and told me to message her back and see if she’s still interested in going on a date.

Ultimately, what I find so strange is that I completely understand that people are busy and have their lives, but it would feel a lot better if they would just unmatch. I’ve been told by all of my peers to move on and not to take it to heart, but in all honesty, I do feel a little heartbroken because this is was the one match I had where I felt that I had a great conversation with this person and that I genuinely found her interesting based on our initial interaction. Now, I’m still continuing to send likes and comments with other potential matches, but none of the rest of the people I’m seeing give off this kind of vibe.

I wanted to unmatch but, I’m not saying I’m sitting here and creating scenarios in my mind, but, now in the chat, it’s a triple message on my end and I know that doesn’t look good at all. I know you’re supposed to move on and all that, but I’m thinking maybe my approach sucked and she just lost interest. All I keep thinking about for the last few weeks is wishing I had a way to save this.

I must also mention that since last week, she’s also changed her main photo on her Hinge profile. This tells me she’s lost interest. This is a week after being left on read.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read my message, everyone.