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Should I have kept this to myself?
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Alr, imma try to keep this short. So I have a friend, let’s call him Hank. Hank (sophomore) met this girl, who we’ll call Rylee Jenkins. (the odd spelling will make sense in a bit). So Hank met Rylee (sophomore), and they really hit it off, they were enjoying their time together, they had just set up a couple of dates, and everything was going well. Until- I was talking to my friend, who we’ll call Steve. Steve (freshman), has made a couple of bad choices, and I’m not judging or shit, but some of them have led him to lose his virginity. He was trauma dumping on me like 20 minutes ago (through call. That will also be important) and he mentioned the names of the person it was with. He said the name was Rylee, which got me thinking, but I was like “Riley, pretty common name, probably nothing”. But just out of curiosity, I asked him to spell it, and sure enough, R Y L E E, he said. And that gets the gears turning, so I ask for her grade. He says sophomore, and that gets me thinking even more. He unprompted-ly says she’s on the lacrosse team, and I go “holy shit”, so I ask for her last name, and sure enough, Rylee Jenkins. So I’m like, shit, I need to tell Hank. (Hank is a very “straight-edge” guy, if you don’t know what that means, it’s basically like he has very Christian rules without being a Christian. He doesn’t plan on ever drinking, smoking cigs/weed, and most importantly, no s3x before marriage, and he’s super strict abt this shit) so for his own good, I told him. I didn’t want to be the friend who found out about something like this and keep it to myself, and Steve had no problem with me sharing this. But Hank, Hank was pissed, not at Rylee, but at me. He said shit like “shut the fvck up I won’t hear this” and “you’re lying, Steve’s lying”, and all the while I’m like “the truth hurts but what friend would I be if I didn’t tell you”, and I’m honestly a lil hurt that he responded like that. Anyway, I’m here to ask if I should’ve just kept this to myself. Like an unofficial AITA post, I figured from the POV of highschoolers it’d get me a better response. Thanks for your time

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I don't think you should've told Hank, it wasn't much of your business, especially since you're implying what happened between Steve and Rylee was Steve's fault. Information like that should come up organically, when both people in the relationship feel comfortable discussing it. I think that's an important part of a relationship progressing; I don't think their relationship is close enough yet for Hank to even hear Rylee out (evidently, since he isn't even hearing YOU). I know you only intended on warning your friend, but the situation is very complex.I think your friends reaction (as being angry towards YOU) may imply he's more scared of people KNOWING he's dating a non virgin rather than Rylee herself not being a virgin (take that with a grain of salt, thats just a guess). Either way, you've done what you've done and the respectful move for all parties is to not bring up or engage with conversations about Rylee and her virginity anymore. The couple should be able to handle it themselves from here, it's their business.

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8 months ago