Maybe Moby Dick and Captain Ahab were actually kinky interspecies lovers with a 24/7 predator-prey dynamic. Unfortunately, their pervasive non-consensual involvement of hundreds of vanilla humans and whales in their exhibitionist whaling industry LARPing lead to astoundingly great loss of life, limb, time (especially Hermain Melville's), money, property, and trees. Despite this unforgivable stain on their legacy, nonetheless I must stan an iconic relationship that endured numerous hardships, overcame countless rough patches and strained relationships, to largely thrive for many decades unti their untimely deaths in a blood-play snuff scene gone horribly wrong.

I really wish John McCaffee was still alive to read this.