The words "I'll never leave you" or "if you ever need a friend, I'm here for you" don't mean anything to me anymore... I don't understand why people say things like this if they just leave anyways and hang you up to dry... Do people not realize that the person they're leaving is only going to become more broken and become harder to help in the future...? I can't exactly get better when all of my so called "friends" lie to my face and do nothing but ignore me. "Go to therapy" OKAY YEAH LIKE I HAVEN'T DONE THAT Therapy only goes so far for some people... Some people need friends that will never leave no matter what. WHY EVEN SAY THAT YOU'LL HELP ME NO MATTER WHAT WHEN ALL YOULL DO IS JUST DITCH ME BECAUSE OF HOW DEPRESSED I AM. YOU ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE BY JUST IGNORING SOMEONE CRYING FOR HELP... It's gotten to the point where I have to force myself to be happy just so the people I meet don't get pushed away but as soon as I trust someone with my emotions, they leave... It amazes me that my emotionally absuive ex somehow helped me out more than ANY OF MY "FRIENDS"... SHE AT LEAST MADE ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT MY PROBLEMS A BIT BEFORE GOING FULL ON INTO ABUSING ME FOR NOT TEXTING HER FOR AN HOUR. I FEEL SO MANY EMOTIONS AND I FEEL LIKE IM GOING TO COLLAPSE AND I HATE IT. I CANT EXPRESS MYSELF BECAUSE THE MOMENT I DO PEOPLE LEAVE ME SO IM STUCK WITH A FACE OF STONE, SMILING WHEN NECESSARY JUST TO KEEP PEOPLE CLOSE TO ME...

I'm sorry but I needed some place to put this... I don't trust any of the few friends I have left... And just to clarify; this post wasn't aimed at anyone here I just was mainly referring to the people I've dealt with...