This is my first time posting here for a throwaway…I’ll cut to the chase. Ever since I was young I felt depressive but I never made any attempts till later in high school and after graduating, I just always felt like I was doomed from the start and even going to a mental health facility nothing changed in fact I’d say it got worse. I have a partner who loves me very much but I still can’t shake the feeling of ending it all and her having a better time without me around, even with my family I feel the same, it feels like my head is covered in a thick black fog and trying to air it out for it to come back minutes after. It’s rotting me…I want to keep going for my partner but the fog keeps shrouding me twisting every positive thing I love into thinking it’s not worth it and won’t do any good. It’s hard and painful, I really do want to keep going in life but I don’t know how long of a fight I can put up with here.