I don’t expect anyone to give me any advice but I’ll sum my sad story up in as much of a shortened version as possible.

Basically since I hit puberty I’ve been with my friend who I look at like a brother me and him have gone through rough times with people passing away and the amount of violence that seems to pop up every now and then but we still maintain the childhood friendship.

Ever since I had my first love interest it seemed like I was gonna be with them forever and make a family just like my parents did but obviously that wasn’t the case and I’ve been jumping from one “the love of my life” to the other and it’s left me stomped on emotionally the way I’ve been used by the people who said they love me. I just made it out of a 4 year relationship and it broke me so bad but of course I jumped straight into another relationship this wouldn’t be so bad because it is actually a nice relationship but I fucked up by helping my other friend by getting him in the house to help split rent but a lot went down due to his relationships and he his now on home d this wouldn’t be a problem if his girl and his baby were around every night and now I’m stuck living in this place with her and saying I love her while my brain hasn’t even recovered from my last ex.

And to top it all off I think I’m dying, for the last 8 years or so I’ve suffered from constant flashes of abdominal pain with no actual answer from the doctor which has now “mutated” into chest pain and shortness of breath at pretty much all times I went to hospital and got it looked at. They say I’m perfectly fine and normal just suffering from smokers cough but I just feel tired and drained everywhere I go there’s drama or stress I smoke weed to feel better but I just can’t ever feel better I don’t know what to do