My roommate introduced me to one of her friends, and from the beginning, I thought she was cute, but since I didn't see her often I just pushed it to the back of my mind, though I had mentioned to my roommate that I thought she was cute.

About two weeks ago, a few of my friends we chilling at one of their apartments. about 30 minutes into us drinking, she walks in with her partner (she's poly btw). This partner of hers is actually in the process of being inducted into my sorority so we weren't surprised to see him, but I was quite shocked to see her walk in behind him, but also excited because I thought she was cute.

So fast forward later into the night, I invited her to come to sit by me in the corner and she did, it quickly got super cuddly and I immediately thought "she's gonna spend the night with me". she did end up spending the night with me, and you can guess what happened throughout the night.

The next week we continued to message each other and decided to hang out at her house. When I got to her house, she showed me around her house, then we started chilling on her bed talking about crystals and shit. Randomly about of nowhere she kisses me on the lips and forehead and proceeds to call me cute; this happens multiple times while we were at her house. keeping in mind that we had only hooked up once, I found this super strange, but I'm quite literally the textbook definition of a hopeless romantic so my dumbass fell for it and thought that she was falling for me just like I was falling for her secretly.

so it's about a week later and I noticed that her messages had a different tone than they usually do, and I knew something was off or I had done something to offend her. I did eventually end up messaging her and she replied that after the last time we hooked up she realized that she had feelings for someone else (I'm guessing the partner that she walked into the partner with since her other partner is in another state). This is also especially shitty because now I have to see her partner at my weekly sorority meetings and know that she choose him over me. She expressed that she really didn't want to hurt me because she thinks that I'm super cool and a great person. she also said that she would like for us to still be friends.

the last thing she said to me in messages ( a few days ago, after I gave her cardigan back to her), really hurt me deeply. especially since she is super sweet and this is a side of her that I have never seen before or even expected from her. I had asked her if she wanted to hang out soon because I felt like I was ready to see her again, but her response was "I don't know if I would if I could", in regards to hanging out with me.

basically the whole point to this long story... I'm pretty hurt. actually, I'm broken. Though we only knew each other for a few weeks, possibly a month. When we hung out we immediately clicked with each other, and we definitely are compatible, she even said that herself. As I mentioned, I'm a hopeless romantic so I fell hard and fast for her. I miss everything about her. I'm also especially confused about her being apprehensive about hanging out with me, as I haven't done anything to make her scared of me? I miss her the most at night, that's when I start to think about what I did to fuck it up if it was even my fault.

sorry if this is all over the place, I kinda just dumped my feelings out.