Earlier this year she shared her location w me and I shared mine back. It’s been a month and a half of not seeing each other and a month since our last texts.

I know, I should block her contact or disable our location sharing. I realized it was still active about a week into NC, and some days I check it, and some I don’t. I go to it in my moments of weakness, and instead of reaching out, I look at where she is and tell myself that she’s safe and that I have nothing to worry about. I know it looks bad, but I have no intention of using this to surprise her randomly, or anything negative towards her or her decision to separate. One day I will never look at it again.

This makes me feel a whole bunch of things. I’ve been telling myself certain things to try to move on, I’ve been on apps, trying to push her out of my head, focus on doing things on my own like school and work. But seeing her home, so close by, makes me miss her in a way that I haven’t felt in a long time, my previous resentment seemingly disappearing at the moment. I of course will not act on this but I didn’t realize how much I want her to just drive to my house and hug me. Despite all of the pain she has caused.

She’ll go back away to school tomorrow, but tonight is the closest that we’ve been in what feels like forever, and I purely miss her.

Just a rant.