I’ve been heartbroken before but this heartbreak has just broken me for a variety of reasons. It’s been over 6 months now with no contact but the pain is still there. The thought of never seeing or speaking with her again just destroys me. The timing of everything, how it went down, and there never being any closure is what kills me. The fact that she’s so close is hard to deal with as well. Her exit is right before mine on my way home from work and it always triggers me. It’s like she’s so close, yet so far. I still wonder how the hell did it get to this point. I wish she’d allow us the chance to clear the air and see if we could find common ground. Even if it means we just remain friends.

I hate that I still feel this way about someone that probably doesn’t think about me anymore. I hate that I still wish we can reconcile. I hate that I purposely avoid different spots bc I know that she might be there and I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. I hate that I miss her smile.