I’m heartbroken, I can’t believe you this easily gave up on me. Part of me that I was seeing in the future with you died. It just feels surreal and all the things you said to me feels like lies. I feel scammed. I feel pain and betrayal. It makes me question if I ever going to be enough. I guess this experience will close me up and make me not want to talk to anyone. I deleted all the chats not to read them and hurt myself even more. I don’t think we will be friends. I won’t unfollow you for now, but after sometime when you are nobody to me I will. I feel myself so vulnerable now. I don’t understand why did you continue talking to me if I didn’t mean shit to you? Was I just escape from yourself? Was I just entertainment? I don’t understand.

I kept waiting to talk to you, when you feel better. But I guess it wasn’t about you feeling shitty it was about you not liking me as much as I like you. And this hurts like hell. For once in this fucking year I felt happy and now it’s gone. I wish I’ve never reached you out. I wish we stayed strangers.

It’s sad to think that from the closest person on earth you became nobody in a day. From my future to my past.

For once I felt like I’m not alone no more, turned out I’m still alone. I guess you didn’t see me in your future. I guess I was never part of your plans. I just feel fooled. Yes you’re being all nice about it but still I don’t think I’d be able to play it cool. I’m saying bye not just to you but also to part of myself as well. I’m going through existential crisis.

I also keep thinking about your priorities. You could’ve come meet me for less money than you spent on NYC trip but you didn’t. I should’ve known back then that I mean nothing to you. And all the distance shit you say is bullshit.