I have identified myself as very few things but when i did I was proud of each one. I was proud to be "the singer" "the mysterious guy" "the frontman" then "daddy" that was my favorite after my music hiatus I fell in love with just being a loving husband and father of 2. My girl was adorable and smart as a tack then my son came and he made me work my ass off with his PT because of his prematurity. Seth didn't come home for 7months until we got him home and I never doubted in my mind he would not only survive but be stronger than I ever could be. They were my life and I also had my own demons I had been battling for years but I was always there and one day my ex starts changing. She was pregnant again and due to our son I was terrified of not just its safety but hers most of all. I had grown to love her more than I did before and I can't ever explain it but I felt her distance. I felt like the more I loved her the less she loved me and I supported the decision to keep the baby and I felt her growing further from me and closer to anyone else that would give her attention. I knew I was being cheated on since she was accusing me of cheating a lot. AT first it was ok because I was prone to that behavior before but when my son came everything was different. I had a whole new identity but my ex would never see it, she was looking away as if I had served my purpose and she was off to find greener pastures. I chose to sit back and stop fighting for her as she was clearly unattracted to me in every way. She had no clue how much I would just watch her sleep and smile and then came 3 new guys like a gauntlet by the time I saw the next battle I was done fighting. I lost a lot while I was with her by the time I went from opaque to almost fully transparent. One friend noticed my spirit was weak but now I have no kids and my father just died and never fell out of love with my 1st wife (im a wreck like that) I have no path forward and no interest to continue at all and no hope in finding someone to ever see me for anything more than someone empty and dead