Yesterday was my birthday.. and for the last 3 years my ex made each birthday so grand and special. She is polyamrus.. but when we started dating we decide to be monogamous because I can't do poly. She agreed.. but then ripped my fucking heart out, we saw so much future with each other but when she left for the US to finish her studies.. she just couldn't be in a relationship and cheated.. again and again.. it broke me.. We stopped talking for a few weeks and she suddenly calls me with some family issues, and it was serious so I decide to be there for her.. after she was feeling better and things got resolved.. one thing lead to another as we went reminiscing and she wanted to send me a nude.. instead sent me a nude with someone she was sleeping with.. I swear that 78 days before and it broke my soul.. I keep crying and hurting and in so much fucking pain.. I keep punching the wall to feel less.. I passed out crying on my birthday.. I just want this to stop, I don't want to feel this way anymore.