Last night I couldn’t sleep, and when i finally did, I had a dream.

As soon as I opened my eyes, I was sitting on a couch next to you holding our first daughter in my arms.

She had to be only a month old. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. She was the only thing I could see. I was so in love with her. With us. What we made together.

Holding her felt like nothing I’d ever felt before. I felt so much love, and it felt like I was holding the weight of the whole world in my arms. Something so precious. I had already sworn in my heart to protect her with my life forever.

She kept making sounds and I told you she sounded like she was mimicking the sounds we would make while she was in your womb. I wish I could have stayed there. But then I woke up.

I wish I could go back so badly. Every time I read this journal I cry.