I am a freelance graphic designer, but full time I have to type up copy for a home improvement blog. Not only is it incredibly lame, but it is a 2-hour train ride away, not at all creative in any way, and I am full time in the office.

I only took this job because I was misled into thinking I was doing social media for multiple clients in a marketing company. They currently run under several different names and I only work for one of them.

This is a family company it seems. My boss and the HR lady are husband and wife. Yet they are barely ever in the office and have kids in the office almost every day. There doesn't seem much of a point to me being here anymore. The only other person here besides them is the architect. Don't get me wrong, the couple treats me fairly nicely and even cook food on fridays for lunch. But there is barely any direction and my laptop here is super slow when I can work much faster on a personal Macbook.

Unfortunately, I am 26 years old and still take a lot of career advice from my parents and I'm not sure why. I guess its because I depend on them for my healthcare until my 3 month probationary period is over. My mom is a head accountant and she said not to even ask until my 3 months is up. I ask, why? This answer really pissed me off for some reason. My life is incredibly challenging right now and they don't seem to understand that. I have almost no time to do anything with design classes and physical therapy after work.

The 20-hour commute every week is fucking killing me. My sister and my mom work hybrid. I know a lot of friends who are even fully remote. This seems to be a regular thing, is it not? What's the point of me being here?

I'm terrified of being stuck here. I remember being unemployed for 6 months and not being able to find anything. I feel so utterly hopeless and in a permanent situation until I self-sabotage and get fired because I don't have the money or the balls to quit. I want to work, I just want to work in what I enjoy working in. Is it so hard to ask for a job that works for me?

Please help, any similar experiences would be appreciated. I'm young and still new getting paid salary and it feels like a life sentence.