My sweet Mochi was a ghost hamster, so when I didn’t see him for a couple of days I didn’t think anything of it.

But when he popped up from his burrow late Monday night I took one look at him and instinctively knew something was very wrong.

He was so lethargic and weak, wobbling and falling over, he could barely climb. He couldn’t even get to his water. I had to help him drink by bringing it right to his little mouth, and when he drank it was barely anything.

I took him to an emergency exotic vet, just as I had suspected he was extremely dehydrated (they gave him liquids right away).

They were feeling a mass in his tummy, so ran an ultrasound on him. They found multiple cysts in his stomach, and he had an enlarged kidney (meaning kidney failure) 😞

No amount of medication could've helped him even though that’s what I was hoping for, in the end I had to let him go and euthanize.

I was with him the whole time for the whole process. I held him through every step. The vet was very kind. She just lost a hamster too so she understood, she cried with me. And she gave me his paw prints on clay for free. I baked them as soon as I got home.

I know I did the right thing for him, but nothing prepares you for it yk? And the guilt. No matter how well you took care of and loved your animals there's still a type of guilt that comes when they pass and you have to make the hard decisions.

I miss him so much and I just feel horrible about the pain he was in, he didn’t deserve to suffer like that.