I don't think there even is a way for me to be comforted. My uncle was an incredibly kind man. He was one of those gentle giants that will do anything for you and make you feel safe and loved. He didn't have his own family and raised me like his own daughter. He made me handmade wooden toys when I was a kid. He loved animals, birds, came up with stories about our pets to make me laugh. He made tiny bowties for my pet chickens. He was so unique, I don't think I'll ever meet anyone like him.

I can't stand the morbidity of this. I wish I had enough faith to believe that he's at a better place. Thinking that he's just no longer there is surreally debilitating. I wish I were already dead or never born. And I never want to have kids, so they don't have to experience anything like this. 😔