My mother died a week and a half ago. She had dementia and I have been mourning her for over four years before she passed. She passed suddenly. Due to that and covid, I did not get a chance to say goodbye. Last time I saw her was in July and it was with us both wearing masks and she was near a screen/window. She did recognize me.

I am confused because I have not cried yet. I am not too sad. I feel some physical symptoms like tightness in the chest occasionally. I also get sad. I am tired as well but that I don't know if it is from jet lag. I am also freezing because I live in a warm climate and I am in Chicago/Milwaukee now.

Since I heard the news, I am still waiting for it to hit me. I have trouble concentrating at times, but I am also a professor and at the end of the semester it is hard to concentrate in general. It was much worse a few days after I found out.

Has anyone had a similar experience?