I am so sorry this merely a way for me to vent. I lost my little brother suddenly this summer. Of course, this loss is crushing me and I am missing him every day.

Because I don't connect with people nowadays, I spent a lot of time on grieving forums. And just sometimes I feel angry. I have always been a huge critical thinker, probably studying law didn't help, I always look for flaws in explanation or reasoning. I know a lot of people are doing whatever they can to cope, but I can't relate at all.

Recently I asked advice for books and honestly most of then are just purely mawkish, without any depth. I am surprised how philosophy is never suggested for example, or even the greatest writers. I feel like I am sympathetic of all stories I read on grieving forums, but reading the personal history of a single individual in a form of a book isn't touching or helping in anyway as most of them fail to find this universal essence that makes book cross ages.

Maybe ultimately, the gap between me and others in the way they deal with grief is making me feel lonelier.

Somehow, I know my brother would have understand me and that just increase my feeling of loss.

Thank you for reading and no need for answers :)