I am… not great with my feelings. I have a tendency to implode and suffer in silence. Meanwhile, my fucking husband is the most well-adjusted and emotionally stable person I know.

It’s very annoying.

The hardest part of our marriage, is admittedly my inability to talk about feelings. At first I got away with it, but he has a habit of forcing me into healthy routines that require examining my emotions.

Fucking asshole, right?

My husband fucking LOVES Christmas. He’s obsessed with the holiday and loves all things festive. The man fucking likes caroling like a psychopath.

I don’t hate Christmas, but I don’t really get it. I didn’t celebrate when I was a kid and I feel like an alien when everyone talks about traditions. I get the basic stuff, but I don’t have warm memories others associate with it.

Ironically, my husband is Jewish. I am not.

For Christmas, he stuffed a stocking with the most thoughtful Viola-like presents in the world. I stuffed his with lingerie. He made his favorite traditional foods, and I suggested ordering pizza.

About mid day, we Skyped his family and I got a little down. Instead of talking about it like a well-adjusted human, I buried myself in a book and shut down.

He noticed.

When he asked me what was wrong, I took my top off and straddled him. He pushed me off. I offered to give him head and he refused. Instead, he physically sat me on the couch and asked me again what was wrong.

“Jesus, nothing,” I yelled and stormed into the other room.

“You’re using sex to deflect.”

“I’m using sex because I like sex!” I yelled.

I kissed him and we very quickly became entangled and fell into our bed. He pushed me back and climbed on top of me. I dry humped him for a while and pushed his hand into my hair. He pulled it gently and I moaned into his mouth. He pushed his hips down and I felt him get hard.

“You want it?” He asked.

“Yes!” I moaned.

He pulled away. “Then tell me to what’s wrong, V? Did I do something? Are you ok?”

I lifted my middle finger and down walked away… Because I am a child.

I ignored him for a fucking hour, which he shrugged off. He turned on Christmas music and made dinner. Finally, I turned off our Alexa and told him I didn’t want to celebrate anymore.

“Why? It’s Christmas.”

“We are doing too much!”

“Too much of what? Celebrating a holiday?”

“Yes! Can we just have a normal day?”

“It’s not a normal day. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Whatever. Im going to go get myself off in the bathtub,” I called as I left him in the kitchen.

I did get myself off in the tub. The most annoying thing is that I fucking thought of him while I did it… Twice.

I’m very, very into my husband and he knows it. However, he is also very into me and I usually don’t have much trouble seducing this man.

Sex has never been our issue.

So, I threw on lingerie and sat down for dinner like everything was normal. He raised his eyebrows and sat back and watched me.

“Do you want to fuck me on this table?” I asked.

“Yes, but I also want to eat Christmas dinner with my wife,” he laughed as he handed me a plate. “Are you ready to talk about why you’re upset?”

“I’m not upset.”

“You are.”

I was.

“Why won’t you just fuck me?” I complained.

“Because you’re being a child and you need to talk to me. Also, you have to eat.”

Feeding me is a big thing for him. He gets very concerned.

To prove I wasn’t being a child, I stormed into our room… Like a fucking child… And burst into tears. I don’t even know why.

About ten minutes later he appeared in the doorway. “V. Are you in a place to talk?”

“No!” I yelled… But he saw me crying. I very rarely cry and his face dropped so quickly I thought he might burst into tears.

“Holy shit!” He whispered as he ran over and hugged me. “What happened?”

“Please leave me alone!”

“Please tell me what’s wrong?”

“Can we have sex?”

“If you use your words like a grown up.”

“I just want to read.”

“If you don’t want to talk, that’s fine. Just so you know, you ARE deflecting though. When you’re upset you read, don’t eat, and want sex.”

“What’s wrong with that? I have a therapist. I don’t need to talk everything out.”

“I’m your husband!”

“I don’t like the holidays, ok?” I finally yelled. “I get sad because I feel like an alien because I don’t have the warm, special memories you do.”

He blinked at me. “I’ve known you seven years and you’re just now mentioning this? Jesus V. We’ve been celebrating for DAYS. You’ve been miserable?”

“It hasn’t all been bad. I like watching you when you’re happy.”

“I was doing it to make YOU happy. You can’t shut off like that. I had no idea. Oh my god, I made you look at Christmas lights and we have that damn advent calendar… Why didn’t you say something?”

“I don’t like talking about this stuff. I’m afraid you’ll realize how weird I am.”

He started laughing and laid beside me, pulling me in and nuzzling my hair. “Viola, you’re the weirdest person I’ve ever met. You haven’t done a very good job of hiding it.” Then we both started laughing as he wiped my tears away.

“I’m afraid if we have a kid, they’ll be weird because I don’t know how to do stuff like this.”

“We don’t have to celebrate at all, V. Who the fuck cares?”

“Really? Like, can we watch a stupid show or something?”

He shrugged. “We can do whatever you want… I mean, you’re already in lingerie.”

“Oh so NOW you’ll fuck me?”

“You used your words like a grown up,” he whispered as he bit my ear and grabbed my ass. “I’m proud of you.”

“Fuck off,” I huffed as I sat up.

He laughed and wrapped his arms around me. “I’m hard,” he whispered.

“Really?”

He put my hand on his crotch so I could feel. I stroked him gently and watched him close his eyes. “I’ve been hard all day, V.”

Side note: my husband as an exceptional dick.

“Well, fuck.”

“Yeah, it’s very painful to turn you down… Especially when you’re wearing this.” He wrapped his hand around and stuck it down the silk and lace blouse I was wearing. “This is REALLY sexy.”

I gasped and started stroking him harder through his pants. “I want you so bad. I need it.”

He flipped me over and pinned me to our bed. “Say that again.”

“I need it. Please fuck me.”

He rubbed against me and I jolted forward as a shot of pleasure rippled through me. I reached for him, but his hand shot to my neck and squeezed. He smiled as he shook his head. “I like torturing you.”

He rubbed against me again and I cried out. “Please,” I whispered. “Tell me what to do. I’ll suck you off right now. I just need you so bad.”

He smiled and kissed me. “You know you’re sexy when you talk about your feelings.”

“Jesus, don’t ruin it!” I moaned as I reached for him again.

This time his hands wove into mine as he pinned me back again. “How bad do you need it?”

“I’m so fucking wet,” I cried as I squirmed beneath him.

He stuck a hand down my pants and put a finger inside me. His face lit up. “Wow, you really are.”

“Please fuck me,” I moaned, very near tears. It was almost painful how much I wanted him. My stomach was pulsing as I felt another jolt of pleasure and cried out. “I’ll do anything.”

“Would you let me come on your face?” He whispered as he put his mouth to my ear and bit me gently.

“Gladly,” I shuddered as he stuck another finger in me and curled it up.

“You’d let me bend you over and spank you?”

“Jesus, please fucking do that.”

“No,” he laughed. He put his forehead to mine. “What if I made you look me in the eye like this as you came?”

“Fine! Anything! Please fuck me.”

He tore my shirt off then and started biting my nipples, hard enough so that I moaned. I played with his hair and pulled gently. “Please fuck me,” I started pleading again.

He bit me harder and I screamed. “I love how weird you are,” he whispered.

“Please put it in my mouth,” I cried. I was in physical pain at this point.

“Damn, you really are desperate,” he laughed as he kissed up my neck.

“At least take your pants off,” I moaned.

He curled his fingers inside of me again and laughed when I moaned at his touch. “When I’m fucking ready, V.” I whispered as he ripped my pants off and stuck his tongue between my legs. He licked slowly and I gasped. “I want you to come,” he mumbled as he licked me again. I arched my back to take it and felt the build between my legs as he stuck three fingers inside of me.

“Fuuuuck,” I groaned.

“Describe it,” he demanded as I jolted forward.

“It feels so good. I’m so tight it hurts.”

He pushed his fingers in me again and I moaned so loud I had to bite my own hand to muffle it. I started building so quickly, I couldn’t breath. I saw stars as I grabbed his hair and came around his fingers and tongue.

“Fuck,” I gasped as I finally fell back. “Fuck, that felt so good.”

He flipped me on my stomach then and finally unbuckled his belt. “You want it like this?”

“Yes,” I gasped. His hand came down on my ass and I yelped slightly. “You can go harder,” I breathed.

He did. He in fact went so hard I had to hold the headboard and bite the damn pillow. Then, I finally felt him push against my entrance. My ass was burning red and stinging everywhere he touched.

“You want it?” He whispered as he fondled me.

I tried to answer, but when he pushed inside of me I lost control. I banged my firsts against the headboard and cried out.

“Fuck, you feel good,” he moaned as he pushed into me over and over. “I can’t last.”

“You don’t have to,” I gasped as I felt the muscles in my stomach pulse and clench around him. I hit the headboard a final time and gasped as I climaxed.

He pulled out, pulled me on my knees, and stroked himself twice before he came on my face.

I fucking love it when he does that.

I opened my mouth and licked his cum from my lips as he shuddered a final time and finished.

“What?” I asked when he was done. “You didn’t make me look you in the eye all sweetly as I orgasmed.”

He smiled down at me and shrugged. “I figured I’d reward you for talking about your feels.”

Then we had Christmas dinner before we fucked on the table.

I would have married him regardless of how he was in bed because he’s that good of a person, but it’s nice that my husband is a fucking sex god.