I grew up in a small religious community where everyone was extremely conservative about sex. I’m also an introvert, and while I later became much more outgoing, that meant I was pretty reserved and quiet growing up. I wouldn’t say I was a nerd exactly, I did have a couple of girlfriends in high school, but they were short lived and casual relationships.

So when I got to college I had a lot of pent up energy. Being away from home made me feel like I was finally ready to let go of the psychological baggage I had around sex. I didn’t go wild or anything, but I had a few hookups in my first year. In my sophomore year I met C though. Physically, she was very much my type: girl next door vibe, dressed cute but modest, dirty blonde hair, curvy.

We hooked up after a party and everything seemed to just kind of click with her. She had a similar background to mine, so we were both at about the same place in exploring our sexuality, and the chemistry was exactly right. We did it twice that night and then again in the morning, and were already talking about when we’d do it again next.

I guess it just seemed natural to both of us that since we wanted to keep fucking on a regular basis we were supposed to be going together, so she became my first serious girlfriend. After a few months, it became clear that sex was the only way in which we were really compatible. We disagreed over basically everything: PDAs (I don’t like them and she wanted to do them all the time) how often we needed to talk (we needed to have at least an hour long phone conversation every day if we didn’t see each other or else she’d feel I didn’t care about her, and I hate small talk) her friends (I didn’t really want to jump from my own friend group to hers, but she wanted me to) and so on. To be clear, I’m not saying she was a nag or really faulting her for any of this. I just should have been with someone who was more introverted like me, who I’d have been on the same page with.

After a few months of this we both were getting incredibly frustrated with it and had started fighting regularly. I wanted to break up with her, but at the time I sort of thought the whole thing was very adult and convinced myself I was supposed to stick with it. I can only assume she felt the same way, because she didn’t break up with me either even though she was clearly unhappy. But I’m sure both of us wanted to break up, and I think what happened next was an attempt on her part to make it happen without having to confront the actual problems with the relationship, even if it was just subconscious.

Basically, she cheated on me. We had just had a fight and I had decided not to go to a party we were going to, she went anyway. The thing is, I’m sure she must have known that I would find out: a lot of my friends were there, they all knew her, and they all started texting me about how blatantly she was getting cozy with another guy there, and then they disappeared upstairs together.

I was angry for the obvious reason, but even more angry because of how embarrassing it was to have it be such openly public knowledge and to be learning about it after so many other people. So the next morning I went to her dorm room, kicked her roommate out (pretty sure she knew what I was there to talk about and did not want to be around), and basically started letting C have it. I had thought through what I was going to say and it was going to be this big dramatic speech about how hurt I was, but she acted completely insolent and nonchalant about the whole thing and it was utterly infuriating, so instead I just started yelling at her about how much of a whore she was, telling her she might as well go fuck as many guys as she could and max out her sluttiness. She kept responding with things like “maybe I will.” She was lying on her bed wearing just a tank top and a pair of boyshorts with her ass in the air, and as I was telling her she was a slut I started getting turned on, and something came over me. I reached over and spanked her hard. I was expecting her to get angry but instead she just made this very soft little moan which I recognized immediately. She did it when she liked something.

I was basically hard instantly. We’d never tried anything really rough before. I sarcastically said oh, of course you like this, and I spanked her again. She did the moan again, a little louder, and I called her a slut again and spanked her again and again. I ripped her boyshorts off and spanked her bare ass, both cheeks. She had reached underneath her stomach and her hand was between her thighs. I unzipped my pants and entered her mouth, and she was eager for it. She’d blown me plenty of times but I had never done anything like facefucking her. I knew perfectly well how deep she could go and I started pushing that line hard, and she kept playing with herself while she gagged.

When I’d had enough of that, I roughly turned her around, grabbing her by a bunch of her hair, and started fucking her from behind. I didn’t even think about it: I reached around and grasped her neck, squeezing not for long but enough to choke her momentarily. She just kept moaning. This wasn’t like anything we’d ever done before. I was punishing her, and she was enjoying being punished. She was still playing with herself as I fucked and choked her and called her every filthy thing I could think of, and she came faster than I’d ever made her before. I kept going as she shook. It wasn’t too long after that I was ready to cum myself. I’d never been so turned on before. I grabbed her by the hair, yanked her down on her back, and came all over her face. We’d also never done that before -- I’d always cum inside her or in her mouth.

And then… we didn’t break up. We should have, but we’d just discovered hate sex, and we didn’t have anyone else to do it with. We stayed together very nearly until our graduation. We both cheated on each other multiple times over the next couple years, her when she was starting to get bored and wanted to make me mad enough to try something new on her, and me in retaliation for her infidelities.

This relationship had a very big impact on who I am now. It certainly was unhealthy, but I developed a lot of interesting kinks out of it. To be clear though, one of them is not cuckoldry. Being cheated on, in itself, wasn’t exciting to me, and I never had any desire to see her do it or get humiliating messages from her or anything. It was entirely about her being enough of a slut to deserve the punishments I’d give her.

There were definitely some more interesting stories that came out of this relationship, so if people liked this one perhaps I’ll write some followups. If you're interested a comment or DM letting me know will help.