My beginnings as a secretive closet freak / slut had its impetus of around 6th grade. Girls were beginning to turn into older girls and curves, and my thoughts turned from video games and cartoons to that of girls. I noticed them, but particularly didn’t notice me. I was socially awkward, not as physically developed and goofy. This pretty much stayed this way until after high school, when I went off to college.

Around 13-14 years old however, I noticed that my grandmother had these clothing magazines that included women’s underwear. I helped bring in her mail and I began to sneak the clothing magazines to the bathroom and use that for ‘reading material’. While fascinated by them, I didn’t necessarily use them for spank bank material until I had taken a jacuzzi bath by myself and discovered the jets for my own pleasure. It was my first orgasm I have ever had, and quite intense...the jets blowing bubbles around and brought me to a mind blowing orgasm. I started using the jacuzzi more often as well as the magazines, combining the two to make it more memorable.

I not only used the clothing magazines to spur my imagination, but also ancient, classical and modern art books. The nudes that the famous painters used as models would not be the only ones thousands admired...I admired them as well for the sexual and sensual goddesses and muses they were in my mind.

Being that I grew up in the country in the early 2000’s, internet was the newest fad...but also stupid slow. You young millennials will never know the pain of dial up modems, screeching and making all sorts of noise in order to even use Ask Jeeves, Yahoo search, and Netscape. It was a grand new world, and internet pornography was beginning to take hold. But with vigilant parents and lots of siblings vying to use the computer, it was almost impossible to use that medium for pleasure. And the few times I did, an easy history search soon revealed the moral dilemmas for any parents of teenage boys.

So came the sex talks, the moral shaming, holier than thou discussions and sanctity of sex before marriage. I of course was in agreement, but hormones soon beckoned again to take hold and return me to my imagination.

I did not date in high school as I was a nerd and still socially awkward. However my lucky ass did manage to have a girlfriend my senior year, albeit very short. She had moved into the school and we had civics together. *Michelle was bisexual, 5’2”, curves for days with 36DDs, piercings , tattoos, a sarcastic attitude and filthy mouth. I loved it! The quessesential bad girl meets goody two shoes, Boy Scout (literally) who would corrupt me. I feel for it.

We talked and got along, and invited me one day to come over to her house. I had to wait for some younger siblings for their after school program so hanging out at her house seemed like a good way to pass the time. When I got there we talked and chilled, but her annoying little brother wouldn’t leave us alone. We were outside and soon came in as it was chilly. She had me go into her room first and then quickly turned around shutting and locking the door on her little brother. I was more than confused with a dumb look on my face while she turned around and kissed me. Deeply. It was my first kiss! And not only it was my first kiss, but French kiss with a tongue ring. I was beyond turned on and learned very quickly how to kiss.

After that first kiss almost every day after school I came over to her house to learn more. We would kiss for hours and I learned you can get a very dry mouth, hickies, cracked lips and tongue sucking too much. I loved it though and always came back for more. It would take me 30 minutes to kiss her goodbye, and the cuddles were great.

All too soon it came to an end when one day she took off her shirt and bra, and I suckled my first breasts. They were large, firm yet soft, and I kissed, nibbled, and sucked on them forever. That evening though she confided in one of my cousins who she had became friends with that she had shown me her breasts, and my cousin immediately called my parents. I received the lecture of the lifetime, and was told I needed to break up with her or I would face eternal damnation. Dedicated to my parents wishes and not to disappoint them, I was shamed to break up with Michelle. I did it the most cowardly way possible, by calling her mother and letting her tell Michelle the news. I heard later she threw a screaming fit, cried, and threw things. I am ashamed to this day for how I conducted myself and how that turned out.

It wasn’t until freshman year of college that I would date again, and have another girlfriend. We met at the first away game or football team had, and being freshman we hung out. We were on the bus together both to and from the away game, and after the game met up and wandered the town. Soon we were holding hands then kissing. Heavily. Once we got back to school we talked, and I revealed I was still a virgin. She was fine with it at the time, but as we more heavily became involved the more impatient I could tell she was. She would feel me up and back away, and I wanted to feel her up as well. Eventually it got to the point we were not getting what we wanted, and she broke up with me. But I had already purchased tickets to go visit her aunts for thanksgiving. So we rode the bus together down to her aunts house and spent the time together. I suffered through Black Friday 3am wake up to go shopping and she saw how I was sacrificing myself for that. She was sorry for the late night and we started to kiss and cuddle on her couch...leading to us becoming topless, kissing and sucking on her breasts and grinding into each other until I came into my pants.

Once we got back to school the pressure to perform well in classes came again, no time for each other other than quick meetups that always ended up as sexually frustrating, with us breaking up again.

I decided then to not date anymore girls at my school. I attended a small engineering school that was predominantly men, with a few women. Those few women were almost always pursued by two to three suitors at a time, and I was still pretty awkward and did not see myself dating the women at my school. So I turned to the internet to find satisfaction and dates.

I was not much of a user of MySpace and Facebook was coming into its infancy. I joined when it was still confined to colleges, and remember the excitement of poking people. Nothing came of it, but joining another website did.

HotOrNot was where I learned the nitty gritty of online dating. Through much trial and error I was able to turn myself from a 6.2 to a solid 8.5. Pictures with a witty profile, demonstrating my potential for fun, sarcasm, intellectual discussions and banter hooked in numerous chats across the years while it was still HotOrNot. It was through this website I was able to snag several girlfriends and have my first oral sex, and eventually lose my virginity (another story titled ‘She didn’t know it was my first time’ on my profile). I was hooked.

The girl who went down on me first was a girl named *Penelope. We met on HotOrNot and she had a thing for military men. As I was part of the military program at my school she found it extremely hot. She was willing to go down on each other but not sex (she didn’t want to take my virginity and I wasn’t ready) and she still lived at home. I had met her parents who were cool and all, she still did not want to try anything at home. So I got us a hotel room and had her naked all to myself. She had brought her lingerie and I found her incredibly sexy. Her hair was long, brown and curly, extremely soft porcelain skin and very sensual. Her brown hazel eyes always drew me in and her curves were always on point. 34C breasts with a very spankable ass. She was the first girl I went down on, and while I didn’t make her cum that time, she did become a mentor of mine in that regard on how to best pleasure a woman. She was the first girl who went down on me and finished me off with a hand job.

After that we did see each other a few times, but fell apart as time does and are still good friends on social media.

Another girl who became a girlfriend and is still a good friend today, is *Addison. We met off of HotOrNot and hit it right off. We could tell we both enjoyed the same nihilistic, dark humor, both very intelligent, sarcasm was a language we both spoke fluently, and loved the same nerdy things (especially musicals, singing, and theater). She was about 5’4”, very curly brown hair, big radiant smile and a laugh that filled the entire room. Her blue green eyes were always mesmerizing, capturing me in any moment filled with mirth, laughter and sexuality. She is a thicc girl with 36DDDs, heavy ample breasts that she loved to show off. She was always horny and down to meet at my school when available, as I didn’t have a car at that time and she lived with her parents as well. We used her car and the school grounds extensively, and she is how i learned to really pleasure a woman with my mouth, fingers and lips, exploring everything about a woman’s body and enjoying it. Even to this day I will take time to learn a new lover and apply the skills I learned from Addison. She loved cock and would suck on me and make me cum as much as she could. There was one time, when she was on all fours and if I had a condom, she would have let me fuck her. She didn’t want to be my first, but she in that moment she was ready to do almost anything for my cock.

Alas our chapter together did come to a close as she was shipping off to the Navy. We did have a great send off before she left for boot camp. Once she came back months later, and after I had sex, I did meet her at her house when her parents were away. We were changing in her room and while it was awkward to see each other, we were both nervous how we would proceed in wanting one another. I saw her get out of her shirt across the bed, and I did as any responsible male would. I went around the bed and kissed her, ridding her body of her bra and rest of her clothes, went down on her till she came all over my face, then I tore out a condom and fucked her. She was soooo tight as she had not been fingered in a long time and longer still of no fucking. I fucked her until she came again and then I came, filing the condom with my seed. We both sighed and she made the remark that I must had a good mentor while she was gone.

If she only knew...

*names changed for confidentiality.