My husband and I are happily married, in a Hotwife marriage. Whenever I have a date with another guy, we have this process, this preparation to get ready.

We are traveling to Los Angeles in a little bit. He has a business trip, and I'm tagging along. We hope to piggyback on this trip, to have a little playdate on the side. So in preparation for the date - and this can be applied to any date really - my husband will start to withhold sex from me. Completely cold turkey. Now coming from having sex 3 or 4 times a week... to nothing, can be very excruciating.

This is part of our kinky, devious ritual, our preparation if you will. This withdrawal builds up this inner sexual energy, this lust, this anticipation within me. Like a spring compressed to its fullest, I'm just waiting to be released and unleashed. During my abstinence, my mind and personality start to change. Normally, I'm this kind, polite wholesome woman. But towards the end, I'm a complete mess. I turn into this cock hungry, cum driven rabid slut. When a man gives me any attention, I instantly think of how fast I can drain his balls. What position he would prefer me in. I imagine his head inbetween my legs. By the time when the playdate arrives, I'm like this starving animal, desperate to eat, to survive. But no, I have to save myself. Save myself for the playdate who would reap the spoils of my patience.

On the day of the date, I'll prepare myself for his eventual conquest. Mediation in the morning. A spa and salon day. Hair and makeup professionally done. Back in the hotel, I'll dress myself in stockings, suspenders, lingerie. Squeeze on a tight revealing dress, which advertises my eagerness to get fucked. Finish that off with a pair of sky high stilettos. My patience is truly tested, as I dress and transform into this fuck toy, ready to be manhandled.

During our playdate, my mind is racing. I can't wait. With each guy's glance, their stares, their attention, their validation that I start to get antsy. I'm so down to fuck. So fucking down. Perhaps my date puts his hands on my body. I could feel his strength, as he slowly explores and previews the debauchery he's about to unleash. I'm literally counting down the minutes... the seconds until I can have a cock inside of me. To be rewarded for my patience, my resolve, my role that I want fulfilled. To be his fuck doll, his trophy, his conquest.

Finally, we arrive to the hotel room. I'm stripped naked. Not only of my clothes, but of any decorum, dignity and modesty. Temptation and lust have replaced any sensibility I once had. As I stand there, waiting for his approval, I'm vulnerable, absolutely consumed by anticipation. A form of penance, it's clear how desperate I am. Hoping, begging, praying for my absolution.

Then the fucking begins. The ravishing. The conquest. On the outside, my body is being absolutely decimated. Holes gaped, tits manhandled, ass smacked, mouth face fucked. Like a barbarian, the spoils of war are for him to take and exploit. But on the inside, I find solace in my mind. Clarity. Validation. Attention. My effort and resolve has been rewarded. The joy and happiness I feel, is just like waking up Christmas morning. To finally have a man touch me, kiss me, grope me, fuck me, use me and ultimately discard me is such a powerful emotion.

The next morning, I'm a bloody mess. He's thoroughly used me to the point where my mind is mush. Cum drunk, dick drunk yoga wife bimbo. When I try to talk, I can barely form coherent sentences. I'm stumbling around the hotel room, trying to balance on my high heels. Truly, my spring has been released and he's reaped the rewards. In a weird way, I have this newfound respect, even affection for my date. I'm thankful to him, for helping me find my solace, my clarity. He, and he only, could give me my absolution.