I usually try to be a good girl. I am from a very conservative, religious family and have been sheltered all my life. I have a lot of pressure on me, because everyone in my family is so successful and has a doctorate. I try to stay focused, but I feel like I have this burning desire inside of me that wants sex so badly. So when I (23) met this reckless, unambitious younger guy (21), I felt somehow drawn to him.

I was at a bar and saw this guy, he was tall, thin, with these beautiful green eyes. I asked if I could have a drink out of his pitcher and he said yeah. We proceeded to play beer pong together, and got kinda close but didn't do anything. He was sweet to talk to, and went for it and kissed me. I told him, "You shouldn't smoke so much." And he said, "I don't smoke." Lie. I could taste the cigarette on his lips, and knew he was a heavy smoker.

He wanted to make out with me, but I was afraid my dad would see. So he asked his friend if we could use his car, to which he said no. Soon after, my mom came up to me saying we had to go. The bouncer told me that I should hang out with better trash than that. He also warned my parents about this guy; he said to them “your daughter is in danger.” I still wanted to go back and say goodbye to him, so I went to him and told him I had to go. When we got home, my dad told me he was a dangerous guy and both of my parents advised me to stay the hell away from him. My dad said he heard that he was a felon and beat people up. But I was intrigued by him and wanted to know for sure. So I texted him and told him I heard what the bouncer said about him, and he told me the bouncer was lying, that he never got in trouble with the law. I looked him up and couldn’t find anything criminal about him, so I agreed to hang out. But, he said he didn’t have any money because he spent it all at the bar.

So I met him at the mall and he invited me to his apartment. I walked inside and was shocked… It was like something from a horror movie. There were stains all over the floor and walls, and it had this musty, thick smell that was heavy with cigarettes. He walked through normally as if it was nothing though, and I was speechless. He was jus upset that all of the furniture was moved out of the house already. I felt like I should have left then and there. I now know he was from the projects. He leaned in to make out with me, but after he kissed me I put my head down and looked away. “We should hang out more,” he said. “Yeah….” I responded, thinking, “No, don’t do it.”

So he invited me to the new place he stayed, his family’s house. He had to take his mom to work because it wasn’t his car, and I waited 15 min for him to get back. I had this gut feeling that I should have left and went home, but felt like I was all the way there anyways… When he got back I met his sister and grandma as I passed through to his room.

We stayed in his room and watched TV. And he immediately put the moves on me. He put the covers over us, his leg over mine, and leaned in to kiss me. It made me horny, but I didn’t want to give in. I said “let’s take this slow..” But I know he wanted it. I said I was ticklish, and then he tickled me. We got really close, and I gave into temptation and started making out with him. He got on top of me and we took each other’s shirts off. “I don’t want to have sex with you,” to which he responded, “OK” He grabbed my breasts though my bra, and proceeded to take it off. I got on top of him, and grinded into him as we made out. I missed doing this so much. I felt all of this pleasure building up inside of me, and it felt so good as I grinded against his hard dick through our jeans. I kept going until I had an orgasm, as I gasped breathily but was conscious to not make it too loud.

I was done. He didn’t know it, and still wanted to have sex. But I told him I couldn’t.. We barely knew each other. He said “well, get to know me,” and proceeded to make out with me. “But I have an STD.” I said. I admitted to him I had herpes which I probably caught from my cheating ex, which was why I felt like I couldn’t have sex life I used to. He said it was fine if we used a condom. I still said no. He told me he had a big dick, and I was curious. I grabbed it through his jeans, and it was really thick. I wondered what it would feel like inside of me, and agreed to it.

I told him to go slowly, because I haven’t done it in a long time. I felt him slowly penetrate me with his thick dick, and it felt so nice. I already came, but the feeling of being stretched wide open again was felt euphoric. I almost forgot how much I enjoyed it. He fucked me until he came, and then we just lied down together and talked. It was so relaxing to talk to him after all that; I felt free and liberated. We put on a video, but since it took forever to load, he leaned in to make out with me, touched my breasts, and we started fooling around again. I asked if he wanted to go again, but he didn’t have a condom. He fingered me, and I stroked his dick. He asked if he could jizz on me, and I said yes. He jacked off all over my body and I asked if he could lick it all off of me. He said “I would… But I don’t really want jizz in my mouth.”

Afterwards, he told me he liked being around me, and not just the sex. He wanted to see me again. I knew I could never date this guy. But I loved the sex and wanted to do it again. And I felt turned on by the fact that I knew he was bad news. I felt this thrill and excitement. And I just loved looking at his pretty eyes. Anyways, I think he wanted to brag about having sex with me because he took a pic of us together (clothed) and asked for hickeys. I went home feeling like a bad girl, but somehow renewed… I had this gross taste in my mouth. It tasted like tobacco and bad decisions.

I wanted him to be my new fwb. But he proved to be unresponsive in his texts sometimes. Hoping for a quickie, I texted him a few days later and let him know I was going to be in the area in case he wanted to “hang out”… He didn’t bother text back. I haven’t talked since then, and I know this guy is trouble, and that he would drag me down and probably get me in trouble too...

I have to train myself to stop being attracted to dangerous men. This guy was just the kinda men my parents warned me about..