This happened a few years ago, I was either nineteen or twenty at the time; can't quite remember. The last couple weeks I've been thinking about it a lot, for reasons I will get to at the end...

I was hanging out with this guy I've known basically my entire life. His name is Bennet. We get along fine, but I wouldn't call him a friend exactly; more like a family friend. Our parents all went to college together. Bennet's family lived about an hour away from us, but we would see them pretty frequently, probably once a month or so. Bennet and I didn't really talk much outside of our families getting together, but he's cool and growing up it was nice to have someone my own age to hang out with at these gatherings (we're both only children).

On this particular day, we had driven to see them, but then our parents all went off somewhere (it was some boring adult thing, can't quite remember what; they wanted us to go with them but we didn't want to), so it was just Bennet and I by ourselves at his parents' house. It was the beginning of summer and they had a pool, so we had swimsuits on and were swimming and lounging at stuff.

His dad had recently installed a sauna in their backyard, and even though it was summer I really wanted to try it, and I kept pestering Bennet about it. After a while he gave in, and he started it up, which looked more complicated than I would have thought.

We were sort of just standing around waiting for it to fire up. I don't remember what I said exactly; I made some little joke like "does it come with special robes we get to wear?" But I sure remember what he said in response. Super matter-of-fact, completely neutral and casual, he said "Actually, I usually just go in naked."

To that point I wouldn't really have considered that I was attracted to Bennet. He was definitely good looking, but at that time I was for some reason convinced that I was only attracted to tall guys (have since grown out of this), and he was basically average height, probably like 5'9" or so. But when he said those words, something completely shifted in me. I looked at him standing there in just his swim trunks. This probably sounds weird, but I became suddenly fixated on the idea that he had... guy parts, and they were right there, hidden only by the thin fabric of his bathing suit, and if he took his bathing suit off I would get to see them. It seemed so simple and concrete, and out of nowhere I was crazy turned on. It's hard to explain, but in the moment it felt so obvious.

I must have had a weird look on my face, and I guess he thought he had made me uncomfortable, because he quickly followed up: "I mean, obviously I'll keep my bathing suit on now. I wasn't trying to be a dog or anything. Just said that without thinking."

I shrugged, trying hard to play it cool. "Whatever," I said. "It's your house, you can use your own sauna however you like." We were silent for a moment. "I mean honestly, if you wanted to take your swimsuit off, it's fine with me."

"Uh huh," he said, a bit of a strange expression on his face. "That's very open-minded of you, but I don't think so. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"I'm comfortable," I said with another shrug. "What's the big deal? It's normal to be naked in a sauna. Besides, I've known you my whole life-- we probably took baths together when we were toddlers." This might well have been true, although I didn't actually know it to be.

He kind of looked at me funny for a long moment. "You sure?" he asked.

"Yeah, why not?"

"Well I don't want to make this weird," he said. "And I'm definitely not in any way trying to pressure you to take your bikini off. If I go naked I don't want you to feel like you have to too." I honestly would have loved to, but him saying that made it feel like it would be too forward. Plus, even though I was super excited, I was also nervous, and the thought of being naked myself was kind of overwhelming.

"It's not weird," I said, trying to sound casual. "It's honestly not a big deal-- you should just do your normal thing, who cares that I'm here?"

He was silent for a moment. Then he shrugged and smiled. "Okay," he said. "If it's cool with you."

"Definitely, what's it to me?" I said, although my heart was pounding in my chest. We stood around in a slightly awkward silence waiting for the sauna to finish booting up, and when it did, Bennet unceremoniously slipped his swim trunks off, let them fall in a pile on the grass, walked up the steps to the sauna, opened the door, and went in.

I followed him in. I had gotten the briefest peak when he took his suit off, but I had been pointedly trying to not ogle or make it weird. Now I sat across from him on the wooden bench in the sauna. The space wasn't that big; our legs were maybe three or four feet from each other. Bennet leaned back comfortably against the padded wooden bench, his legs extended in front of him and his arms crossed in front of his chest. He seemed completely un-self-conscious.

I was still trying to be casual and act as if everything was normal, but now that we were facing each other it didn't take any special furtiveness to look him over. I felt like my head was spinning; he looked so good. Even though I had just been hit with this sudden craving to see what was in his pants like ten minutes ago, it honestly felt as if it had been tormenting me for years, and a lifetime of yearning was finally being resolved. I don't think objectively there was anything that special or notable about his package, but for whatever reason it was turning me on like no guy's body ever had. And it wasn't just his package; now that he was fully naked, it somehow became clear to me how crazy hot he was overall. His body was taut and supple and delicious looking; I almost felt faint.

Bennet however seemed completely unfazed; as far as I could tell he was exactly the same as before he had taken his swimsuit off. He kept up conversation about any random stuff, just as he had all day to that point. His demeanor to me was surprising and even a little baffling; I had become so used to guys incessantly trying to sexualize every interaction with me, in the most normal contexts-- in class, in the grocery store, on the street. And here I was, alone in a sauna with this boy, and the two of us on average were like at best 1/4 dressed, and he didn't even look at me funny. I'm not sure why, but somehow it made the whole thing even hotter for me.

The longer we sat there the harder it was to avoid feasting my eyes on him, and the more pointless it seemed to try. At one point I kind of lost the plot and just sat there with my eyes glued below his waist. Getting to look at what I had so desperately wanted to look at did nothing to dampen the yearning I felt; if anything it was getting more intense. His genitals looked so inviting; I wanted to touch them so badly.

"You're staring," Bennet said with a laugh.

I quickly looked up at him. "Oh, am I?" I said. I tried to sound coy, but I could feel that I was blushing. "Sorry, I just never knew you were so handsome below the belt." That made him laugh.

Almost unconsciously, I started to steer the conversation to become more sexual, and I became bolder as I went. I asked him if he had a crush on any girls at his college; I asked him if he was a boobs guy or an ass guy; I asked him how often he jerked off. I demanded he tell me what his kinks were. He mostly deflected and gave non-answers, but he was good-natured about it. At a certain point I could see that he was the one blushing now.

"Yo, chill with this line of questioning," he said, laughing again. "You're going to make me hard."

My heart leapt in my chest. "Would that be so bad?" I asked teasingly. "It's normal for a young man to experience healthy blood-flow to that part of the body." I kept talking about and asking him about sex, and I watched, completely delighted, as slowly his dick started to grow and became fully erect.

I almost felt like I was going to start drooling looking at him. I'm not going to tell you that he had some enormous cartoonish porn star dick; it was probably a bit bigger than average, not the biggest or smallest penis I had seen in my life. But it just looked so fucking beautiful. I felt helpless looking at him; I felt like I would have done anything he said just to keep looking.

"I'm embarrassed," he said, trying to cover his hard-on with his hands, which didn't really work.

"Don't be," I said, reaching out to move his hands away, and as I did my fingers just barely grazed against his cock. At that point it was all over, there was no helping it (probably that had already been true for a while, realistically). After the briefest hesitation, I reached my hand out and wrapped my fingers around his cock.

He gasped softly. "Whoa," he said, and then he said my name. "J----, you don't have to do that."

The feeling of his cock in my grip was electric. "I know," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "It's casual. Think of it like a spa day. You spend some time in the sauna, and then you get a massage, right?" As I spoke I started to slowly and lightly stroke the underside of his cock with my fingers. He leaned back and closed his eyes, sighing contentedly.

"I've gotten a full body massage before, but she didn't massage this part of my body," he said.

"Well, this is a special massage," I said. "It's a special way to relieve tension. It's especially good for relieving tension in the chest, abdomen, and testicles." He chuckled, his eyes still closed. I knelt in front of him so I didn't have to keep leaning over; I gripped his cock more firmly, giving him long, slow strokes, and I cupped his balls in my other hand.

"Does it feel like I'm carrying a lot of tension in my testicles?" he asked. "In your expert opinion?"

"Oh yes," I said. "These feel quite tender." I began stroking my fingers down his scrotum, starting where it met his body and kneading all five fingers down to the bottom of his sack. At the same time with my other hand I was stroking up from the base of his cock to the head, at a slightly different pace than the hand that was working his balls. "In cases like this we sometimes need to resort to more advanced techniques for relieving tension."

Without any warning I took his cock in my mouth and swallowed as much of it as I could, then slowly worked it back out, running my tongue along the underside of his shaft as I released him.

"Ohh," he said, and I could tell that he was genuinely surprised. I had only intended to give him one thorough suck, as a sort of surprise/teasing type thing, but once I'd had my lips around him I knew it couldn't be just once. I resisted for a bit, going back to stroking his now-slippery cock with my hand, but after a minute or so I gave in. I took the head of his dick into my mouth, swirling my tongue around it and pressing into that spot right under the head that guys love, and then I swallowed as much of him as I could again, working my mouth back and forth on his shaft as I continued kneading his balls with my hand.

"Ohhhh," he cooed, his voice entering a new register that I'd never heard before. "Ohhh, that feels nice."

His cock felt so good in my mouth. I had certainly given blowjobs before, mostly because the guys I had been with liked them, but it had never necessarily been my favorite part of the proceedings. But this was something new. His cock felt like it belonged in my mouth; it just felt right, like these two parts were made to go together. He felt so warm and smooth and silky, and I felt like I could acutely perceive how much pleasure my mouth was giving his penis, in a way that I hadn't experienced before.

After a while of this-- I have no idea how long it was, I just know that it wasn't long enough-- he put his hand on my head and pulled my mouth away. "Okay, chill," he said, somewhat breathless. "If you keep doing that you're going to make me cum."

I looked up at him from my knees. "Would that be so bad?" I asked.

I thought I saw his eyes widen almost imperceptibly. "Well you had said this was just casual touching. I didn't know if you wanted it to escalate like that."

I thought that was funny and started to laugh, but I could tell that he was being sincere. We just looked at each other for a moment, his hand still on my head. I knew what I wanted to say but I was a little worried it was too much. After another beat I just said to myself, fuck it.

"You can cum inside me if you want," I told him.

This time his eyes definitely widened. He opened his mouth but closed it without saying anything. "What?" he asked. "Really?"

I bit my lip and nodded. "I'm on the pill," I said.

He looked at me for a long moment; I couldn't really read the expression on his face. But then he took his hand off my head. "Okay," he said.

He helped me up. I sort of just stood there, unsure what to do and overwhelmed with anticipation. He turned me around and gently pressed down on my back, bending me over the wooden sauna bench. He pulled my swimsuit bottoms down and let them fall to the floor; I felt a little thrill knowing that he could see my whole ass, which I feel is one of my good features. He positioned himself behind me and rubbed just the head of his cock against my labia; I practically squealed.

"Whoa," he said softly. I think he was anticipating that he'd need to get me going a bit first, but I was already soaking wet. He slid his cock all the way into me and I moaned like a crazy person. When I'd had his cock in my mouth I'd had such a strong feeling that it belonged there, but now I realized how little I'd understood, at the time, about where his cock really belonged. I wanted desperately for him to stay buried inside me, warm and pulsing and full, for 30 minutes, an hour ('soaking,' as they say), but after only a moment he cruelly slid his penis back out so that just the head was rubbing teasingly against my lips. But then I got to see once again just how wrong I had been, how little I understood about what I really wanted, because when he thrust into me again it was just as good as the first time, an equal explosion of pleasure that had me making sounds I'd never heard come out of my own mouth before.

"God, you feel nice," he said quietly.

I had expected that he would cum almost immediately, after a few thrusts, 30 seconds or so-- I guess because he had said he was close when he pulled himself out of my mouth. But I was wrong. He got into a nice rhythm, thrusting his cock into me firmly and decisively, and he kept it going for a good while (again, I couldn't begin to say how long). I think I had also expected, perhaps to some degree unconsciously, that he was maybe not that experienced, that he might be a bit fumbling or nervous or awkward (which honestly is a dynamic I find kind of endearing and even hot in a guy, especially at that point in my life). But as far as I could tell I was wrong about that too. As he fucked me his hands wandered over my body, gripping my ass, my waist, holding onto my ribcage just below my breasts (which drove me wild)-- and it seemed pretty clear that he knew how to touch me in a way that could only come from experience.

And the way he thrust his cock into me-- good lord. Perhaps it was at least in part a function of how badly I wanted him, but it sure seemed to me that he was wielding his dick incredibly skillfully. To that point in my life, whenever I'd had sex it felt like one thrust out of every handful would really hit in the right way, really get to the core of the place inside me that needed a cock to rub against it. But with Bennet holding my hips and thrusting into me from behind, every single stroke was perfect, hitting exactly where I needed it to, creating the exact right friction in the exact right place. It was almost too much; but I would have never, ever told him to stop.

Eventually-- who can say how long, but I know it was a good, wonderful while-- Bennet's rhythm changed slightly, and I heard him say, somewhere close to my ear, right behind me "I'm gonna cum."

"Yes," I said, barely able to even form words. "You should. I want you to."

He started to thrust into me a little harder, his pelvis really slamming into my butt with each stroke. He leaned forward and slipped his hands underneath my bikini top, gripping my bare breasts. I made an appreciative sound somewhere between a gasp and a moan; it was the first time he had touched me there, and it sent a new jolt through my body, kicking my arousal into yet another gear, one I didn't even know I had. His fingers pinched my nipples, as if inadvertently in his fervor.

His cock was slamming into me again and again. "Oh," he said. "I'm--" and he made a sound, and with one last thrust he buried his cock deep inside me, deeper than it had yet accessed, and held it there, and I felt it twitching inside me as he shot ropes of cum into my pussy. My limbs were shaking with how good it felt, my eyes all but rolling back in my head. He held himself there for a long time, and stayed like that even after he had emptied his balls inside me, his cock still filling me up wonderfully and twitching now and then with aftershocks. Eventually he untangled himself with a sigh and stood back. I turned around to look at him, and I felt myself melt all over again with how good his naked body looked. His cock was mostly soft now, and dripping cum. I got down on my knees and started to lick it clean, but he stopped me, saying he was too sensitive after coming.

It's hard to remember what happened immediately afterwards; it's kind of a haze. What I do remember is that we stayed in the sauna for a while, and when we got up to leave I asked him if I could give him a hug before we put our swimsuits back on. He said yes, and stood up, and I stood up, and I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my body into his. And I remember how that hug felt just about as good as the sex had-- his fully naked body pressing into mine, and his bare genitals rubbing against my labia, and I ran my hands over him, feeling his back, his chest, his butt, regretting that there was so much of his body I hadn't gotten to touch because he had been behind me. And I would have stayed like that forever, hugging him and touching him, but at some point he laughed and broke the embrace, and we left the sauna and I watched a little sadly as he picked his swim trunks up off the ground and stepped back into them.

After that day we only had sex once more (which is a story for another time). There was definitely a period in my life where I regretted that it was so short lived, but it would have been too complicated for us to try having an actual thing.

But okay, so: eventually I got to a point where I didn't think about this encounter all that often (for a while that summer I thought about it constantly lol). But there's a reason it popped back into my head so vividly. A couple weeks ago Bennet was in my city for work, and he met up for dinner with me and my boyfriend. The three of us had a great time (I couldn't totally appreciate when we were kids, but Bennet is a great guy; I really like him), and maybe I had just a *little* too much to drink, and in the cab back to our apartment I told my boyfriend about this one encounter (not in this much detail, obviously). Generally speaking my boyfriend is not really a jealous guy, so telling him about it didn't seem like a big deal. But he got a tiny bit salty in the cab, and was asking more questions than I expected him to, and was a little bit more quiet than usual when we got home.

Then the next night, we started having sex, and my boyfriend (Colin) sort of shifted into this, like, competitive gear that I haven't really seen from him. As he was fucking me, he was saying stuff like "I'll bet Bennet's dick isn't as big as mine" (which is true, so I had no trouble answering honestly; Colin is pretty big, and I really like to praise him about it, but a lot of the time it makes him uncomfortable, so this was a pretty great opportunity for me) or "too bad Bennet didn't know about [this kink that you love]." Honestly, it was really, really hot, and it's sort of been driving me crazy ever since.

Part of me is debating whether or not I should let Colin read this post. I think he might get a little jealous, but I also think he would get turned on, and both of those sound pretty hot to me. I'll have to think about it!