Wife and I went away and asked a friend of ours, really a long time friend of my wife's, to take care of the dog. We all talked it over and agreed she could stay there for the week as it made life better for her too like a mini vacation for all.

Our friend is a few years younger and hasn't had a lot of luck getting or keeping her boyfriends and had been single for a while at this point. We don't dabble too much into her sex life but we did joke about "well don't look too hard in the bottom drawers you just might find a replacement boyfriend or... 10" we joked but left the topic alone after that.

Our toy drawer has been gathering items over the years, there was at least maybe 20 varieties of vibrators big and little dildos and vibrating toys, there was even some super old DVD porn at the bottom of the drawer. But this was mostly the discard pile that we would only break out on rare frisky occasions, the regular used couple of toys were in the nightstand with lube and wipes. The old toys some had dead batteries and were washed before putting away but were so neglected they would need to be washed again before use.

As a hunch, because I can be paranoid, I took a picture of the toy drawer before we left, just to see if anything obviously moved. I knew there was no way this lovely, sweet, innocent friend of ours would touch our private stuff, right? But if she did I would be turned on as fuck, so I took the picture and didn't think to tell my wife as she'd think "how could I not trust her friend".

I'm glad I did. But I didn't really need to... When we got home a week later everything was great. The house was clean perfectly maintained and the pets and plants were happy. I had forgotten to mention that we have a camera on the food bowl but I figured my wife would have explained that. So when I joked and said well the pets don't look starved but we can always check the footage. Her friends eyes got big and she kinda tripped over her words "oh I, I didn't know that there was a camera". I laughed it off and said "we don't check, obviously they are fine." But I mentally noted that she was flustered. We paid her for the help and everything seemed fine.

Later, I checked the drawer. I didn't need to reference the picture, everything had been moved, every dusty toy was clean. I pushed the button on one I knew was dead and it buzzed right up. I laughed. Holy moly even the DVD had been moved.

I checked my game console as that's the only thing that could play a DVD and could kinda tell it had been used and could roughly guess a time and day. So I went and checked the camera log on the feeder camera. Now it doesn't get a good view of the couch and living room but you can definitely see if someone is sitting on the couch and generally tell if they are watching sports vs the news or ... Porn lol.

Sure enough, she had triggered the camera as she passed by one evening, wife's bathrobe on, a bunch of toys laid on the glass coffee table and porn on TV. The feed cut off so I couldn't see anything explicit.

I told my wife. She was speechless and giggling wildly. She had been friends with her for so long and they've talked about toys and jerking it before but this was a whole other level.

A week later we were all hanging out at a restaurant. The topic of conversation rolled around to boyfriends and friend blurts out "who needs men when you have toys!"

We started to laugh and it struck our friend that we were laughing a little too hard. My wife tapped me as we're laughing said "no don't do it", but I couldn't help it.

I said, "you were the perfect houseguest, thank you for replacing all the batteries in the house" I tried to keep a straight face. My wife fell off her seat in laughter.

Friends face turned bright red "your welcome? Uh Which ones did I replace?" She tried to play it off but it was too late.

"The ones in 'the remotes' (I air quoted) for the, uh electonics, turns out we have a LOT of remotes" I tried to not call her out so blatantly.

"Oh my God no" friend bit her lip, and bowed her head in shame.

Wife: "Yes, you brought the old boyfriends back to life" my wife could barely get the words out between laughing herself to tears.

"I'm dieing, you guys, I'm so sorry, I'm so embarrassed".

"Don't be, it's our personal story and we will never tell a soul" (except reddit).